Becoming a caretaker for sickly grandmother.


my grandmother is very sick.she is loosing her memory ,wont eat,and now has a mass in her throat.her and my grandfather live in a rural area far from most things and i know it is hard for my grandfather and hearing they only eat frozen dinners.since none of my aunts or uncles or cousins want to help i am the one who wants to do it and feel it is the right thing to concern is that if there is a way i can get paid for doing this.i live two hours away from them which is not a problem to commute every few days .but the big problem is i just lost my job and need the gas to go back and fourth.i cannot live with them and they refuse to move from there house.all in all im wondering if she is eligable for me to take care of her because i love her.but i cannot with out the income .i did become a care taker throught IHSS or council of aging here in santa clara county.and worked with my friends mother who had lupis.but she no longer needed me so she let me go a few months im also wondering if i have to re new anything? or am i good to go i just need to get her in there?.i need alot of answers and help i need to go help her asap she is only getting worse.aorry if this got confusing!! thanks for helping!!

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First of all, does a mass in the throat automatically mean cancer? Can't it be an enlarged thyroid or something like that? What has grandma's doctor said about this? Do they have a 'meals on wheels' program in the area, or 'loaves and fishes'? They would deliver meals to them that might be easier to eat. My friend's daughter-in-law became my friends hired caregiver for awhile thru the state of Oregon, so I would think it wouldn't matter if you were related or not using that example at least. Ask the people who you went thru before.

Bellacapella what does your comment have to do with milliebears question. I think it was heartless for you to comment the way you did. I believe everyone on this site know death is the next step but we don't need reminders of it. Milliebear, I don't know the answer to what you asked but I commend you for wanting to help. I hope it works out so you are able to be there, I know your grandparents will appreciate it and love you dearly for it. Good luck!

Death is a subject we all hate. But it is part of the glorious journey of life, the final step into eternal life. So, it is time to understand that your grandmother's final journey is part of her daily life. Most elderly and very ill people come to understand this, even look forward to the next step. It can, in fact, give them comfort to know that all has been "taken care of" while they are still here. Talk candidly with her doctor, your minister, and closest friends for support. It is likely that she wishes to see her husband settled in his care even more than herself. For immediate help, seek out a trusted Sitter who has some good sense and understands basic care of the sick. This will give you immediate relief while you sort through information.