Depression coming on again.
I can feel my depression coming on again. Have been doing so well lately. I can't stand the sight,sound or smell of her lately. I feel even worse for feeling this way. Just a viscous cycle. She hasn't even done anything particularly eventful. Starting to hide in my bedroom again and I don't want to. It's just that her pattern of behavior every time I or my husband get around her she immediately starts in on when is this or that going to get done, why haven't we done it, what's the hold up,etc...I am about to turn 55 and my husband is 57 and yet she looks at us as if we are teenagers. I just found out I now have arthritic changes in my lower spine that have been the cause of a very painful right hip which does slow me down. I just feel like screaming shut up for the love of god. She doesn't have dementia, that I could understand, this is just her personality. I thank god for this site that I can ventilate on with people that understand. I read as many of everybody's posts and although I might not comment I think about everybody's situation through the day. Sometimes I just hate her so much, feels good to "say" this out loud. We were never close and because of behavior towards me in a time when I really really needed my mother she literally turned her back on me (rape was involved). Acted like nothing happened. So when she starts blithering on about her sh--t I look at her and think how can you even look me in the face after what you did?