Caregiver depressed from family.
I am a caregiver for about 10 years. I left my professional job to take care of mom.
I am taking care of mom 24/360 all the 10 years. My mother has dementia which caused a lot of stress to me mentally, emotionally and physically. when I loose my temper my sister and brother yelling at me and telling me I am so rude and then not talking to me. My sister telling me God will punish me for being rude. I know I should not Yale but I could not control myself. I feel I had been used by my family. they played game on me just to take care of mom to have their own life. I feel I have no life other than do dirty work cleaning bathroom, carpet....smell bad smells. I am not saying I do not want to help Mom. I love mom very much and I really want to take care of her until I die. but my family making things worse for me. They ignore my feeling and the stress I receive daily. All they do call and ask about how is mom and when they get mad at me they do not even call me on my cell phone to check about me and how am I doing after all this stress. They call home phone like telling me hey we are not talking to you. We call only to check on mom.
I reached to a point I am very tired. Now I am prediabetic and working on myself not to be diabetic. Now I told them I did took care of mom for 10 years now it is your turn. They do not want. My sister started to find a home caregiver and again I am the one who will supervise the caregiver to make sure will well treat mom.
I am very depressed. They showed no sympathy to me. All they care to help mom. I agree we should all of us to help my dear mom. My Mom spend all her life to take care of us. I love mom very much, I can not see the world without her even with her disease. but also I am a human I have a limit. I need support mentally and emotionally at least. they should ask about me ... about my feeling. .. showing care about me
when I told my sister you never give me a call to ask about me. Again I am not saying she is doing wrong to ask about mom and make sure she is well. I feel I am to her just a caregiver to mom. I feel she is selfish. She says she loves me. I know how a person love someone but I can not feel it
Please do not understand me wrong. I do love mom very much. I will never hesitate to be for mom for life.
I reached to a point to have suicide thoughts. I treated myself . now I learned how to tab my back and congratulate myself that I did and still doing a hard job . I congratulate myself that no one able to help mom as I did and still doing.
I am depressed I need to talk to someone I trust. to some one I can release the stress. I need someone to understand my feeling.