My dad died.

Started by

I worked at 12-hour shift yesterday and on my way home last night it occurred to me to go see my dad but I was scheduled to work another 12 today and needed to get home to get some rest. After Sunday's 12-hour shift I planned to go and sit with my dad.

When I got into bed, around 10:30 p.m. last night, I called the nursing home as usual to check on him and my favorite nurse picked up the phone. He said he was just getting ready to call me. I asked, "How is he tonight?" and the nurse said, "I'm so sorry. He passed away about 30 minutes ago."

I spoke with hospice and the crematorium and got a few things worked out. Made a couple of calls.

But I can't feel it. There's a pain in my heart but it's far away and when it starts to come to the surface I somehow push it back down.

My dad was the finest man I've ever known. He was kind and gentle, loving, sweet, funny, intelligent....Anyone who's ever met him loved him. My mom once told me that it sometimes bugged her that dad was so well loved because if she went somewhere without him people were always asking her where he was. He made friends wherever he went. The grocery store, the pharmacy, the library, his various Dr.'s offices. I cared for him for 5 years and I would take him to his Dr.'s appointments and he'd charm anyone we came in contact with and I would often be asked, "Is this your dad?" and I'd tip them a wink and say,"No, he's my husband" then whisper, "he has a lot of money." My dad loved that. It was like our little schtick.

He was a veteran of the Korean War, he was a military policeman, he worked for McDonnell Douglas, retiring in 1990 and went on to be a college professor in his retirement.

When my mom died 6 years ago she and my dad had been married 40 years. My dad was the ultimate family man and everything he did was for his family. He enjoyed thinking of himself as a cross between Bill Cosby and Clark Griswold. The night of my first date he teased me relentlessly and when my mom finally made him stop he did. He disappeared for a few minutes and when he returned he was wearing his boxer shorts, no shirt, a tie and a jacket and he proclaimed that he was ready to meet my date.

When the numbness wears off this is really going to hurt.


Oh, Eyerish, I've read your comments on the different threads. My condolences to you. I love your little stories of your father in the above comments. I even chuckled on when he came out with his boxer shorts, no shirt , a tie and jacket and was ready to meet your date. Were you embarrassed when he did this? Or did he break the tension and made you laugh? I'm so have a great gift of telling stories that's enjoyable. I'd love to hear more of your father's antics. {{{HUGS}}} sincerely,Book
I'm so sorry for your loss. You did love your dad, that's a wonderful thing. We don't get off free on this one: some people had a good relationship with a parent and then suffer loss; other people had a terrible relationship with a parent and suffered that loss daily over the years.
What a tribute to a wonderful man. A big spirit is on the other side now. I am sorry that he is gone, eyerishlass. I think I would have enjoyed meeting him. You were so lucky to have him in your life. {{{{eyerishlass}}}}
Eyerish, May God Bless his soul. What a legacy. It has been an honor to read about your Dad. Your love and admiration for him has been inspiring and humbling. Thank you for sharing with us. Sending you love and sympathy, xo
Eyerish, I'm so sorry about your dad. After being on this website for long enough, I can tell you honestly that those of us with fine decent parents are the exception, not the rule. I'm glad you fell into the exception category, of that you can be thankful. Please don't let the fact that you HAD to work that day cause you any kind of stress and guilt. I don't know whether you were headed that way in your post, but I wanted to head you off if you were. Life goes on, people do what they have to do to survive and stuff happens. Rejoice in the fact that you had your dad for as long as you had him and that you had a wonderful relationship with him during that time. And when it finally hits you, go ahead and wail with the grief that is just under the surface. I am so thankful for the ability to cry. Sorry again.♥
So sorry to hear of your loss....Your words portray a wonderful man and father. rejoice in that!! My heart goes out to you!!
What a wonderful tribute to a wonderful man. You are fortunate to have been raised by someone who was so accomplished in life but also had a great sense of humor. When the numbness wears off, try to remember the good times and celebrate a life well-lived. Give thanks for everything your father did for you. Be kind to yourself.
I am so sorry for your loss, I can understand why you are numb. I hope you mind lets the pain come to you slowly so that you can deal with it while you remember all of the good things you mentioned in your tribute. My heart goes out to you and I beg you to try to temper the overwhelming grief that you will feel with the good memories you have of your father. Death is a letting go, but is also is a celebration of the life. I know these are just words, but I am praying for you and that your grief will be short lived and the good memories will out weigh the sorrow of not having him there any longer. Take care of yourself and be well.
I, too, am VERY sorry for the loss of your father.From your stories, I certainly can tell your father loved you so very much and that you loved him just as much.

I've started a journal about my mom to remember years from now about the wonderful times we have together and the funny things that she says and does.

The stories you recall about your father are a great contiribution to his ongoing legacy. Those are things that can NEVER be taken from you. Again, my most heartfelt condolences to you. Blessings!
Condolences Sweet Eyerish.
Welcome to the club that we all hate to become members of.
Ow Ow.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support