Can't stop being angry at my mother.

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Years ago my mother did something that for me severed the bond of mother and daughter.Our relationship over the years has been polite but not close.However,now she has had to move in with me,I am only doing this out of a sense of duty.I have tried not to feel the way I do but I am losing.My day basically consists of doing the things that need to be done for her and otherwise I just live in my bedroom.I am eating myself to death.Things I used to enjoy no longer interest me.Basically she has the run of my whole house.If I hear her outside her bedroom I hide in mine.This is no way to live.To me there is no talking this out.She did what she did.I know the past can't be rewritten but nothing I say or do is going to change this narcissistic passive-aggressive person now living in my house.I can't get past what she did because it just revealed what kind of person she is.


I hope you won't continue living this way. Look into hiring an aide to do what is necessary for your mother and while the aide is there you will be able to go out and do something enjoyable. You can contact the local office on aging to find agencies that can help both you and your mother.
Honey, you need to forgive your Mom. Clearly it is only hurting you to hold onto your anger. There are other options for your Mom. Also, you need boundaries with her. How is it that you are allowing her to run your home? Are there other family members who can get involved with her care?
This thing she did sounds pretty bad, and her current behaviour sounds like no picnic either. I say: kick her out. Life is too short for you to give up any more of yours for someone who doesn't truly care for you.

No doubt she'll try to fight you and there will be ugly scenes and all that. Prepare yourself for it but stand your ground. Frankly, if she's well enough to take over your house, she's well enough to organize her affairs and live not-with-you.

Stay strong!

TK ...Perseverance is right. The best course for your own well being is to forgive your Mom and put it behind you (even if she doesn't realize it or ask for it). If you didn't love your Mom, you wouldn't still be hurting over it. Forgive her, forgive yourself. Some things can't necessarily be undone but you can move past them. Move on, life is too short to suffer the way you are suffering.

Being responsible for another person's well being is difficult enough without the added weight of past hurt and pain.
Eek - can we lay off the forgiveness topic? This is a VERY sensitive issue for people who have been abused, and there is a lot of debate about whether forgiveness really solves anything. Some abusers take it as a free pass to carry on abusing, for one thing.

None of us knows the whole story here, and texarkana's mother might have done something *really* bad, something that any one of us would find difficult to forgive under ANY circumstances. And anyway, forgiveness or not, texarkana's mother is still in the house and still causing problems. Let's focus on solving that.
Sorry, Margarets, forgiveness is ESSENTIAL for healing for the victim. It does not mean TRUST the abuser. It means to forgive them and not harbor resentment and bitterness which defile many. Trust me, I have been victimized beyond measure - and I have forgiven my abuserS and been set free. God will deal with those who remain wicked.
Unforgiveness hurts the unforgiver more than the unforgiven. Might be easier if she wasn't living with you. Anger within you hurts you and only you.. I would get her out of my house asap.. You have a duty to yourself as well. Good luck.
No Perserverance, YOU do not get to decide what is right for OTHER people's emotional health. Especially when you don't have anywhere near the full story. Whatever happened in YOUR situation does not necessarily apply to anyone else's. People heal in all kinds of ways.
I think forgiveness is essential here. I personally know that it is very difficult to do. She should find mo a new place to live. This is no way to live. Sue I don't know what mom did. I assume it was something really bad. But forgiveness is for the victim, not the perp. Just find mom a new place to live, forgive her and if you like never see her again.
A few more posts and my Forgiveness Fascism Bingo card will be full.

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