I am running out of steam!
My Mom, bless her heart, is 88 1/2 years old and a widow. She is in pretty good health, although she has back pain and no longer drives. I am one of three daughters and I live very close by. Needless to say, I do most of the things she needs help with. One sister does virtually nothing (she lives 25 minutes away) and the other, in New Jersey, does come about 2 weekends a month. But Mom doesn't like to ask her to do anything! She only feels "comfortable" with me. That's what she says when she's in a good mood! When she's in a bad mood (not getting instant compliance from me), she puts a major guilt trip on me. I am a widow as well (age 65) and I have a very active life. The problem is, Mom seems to constantly need something -- from nail scissors, to envelopes, to stamps, to socks, etc. I no sooner get some things done, and she's already mentioning more things. I've pretty much limited myself to helping her two afternoons a week, but as time goes on, that is becoming increasingly difficult. She is just completely dependent on me, and I cannot meet her needs the way my Dad did on a daily, constant basis. I think he did more than I ever realized. I have tried to tell her I need to socialize and pursue my own life, but she only gets angry. I am just tired of the whole routine, and I don't see it changing anytime soon. Any advice would be appreciated! I also wonder which of us siblings gets to decide when it's time for Mom to get paid in-home care or assisted living. Mom, to date, refuses (although she's financially able) to hire anyone to do anything, except a house cleaner she's had for decades. She is extremely stubborn. Do I ever get to say, "That's it, I need help."? I know I am not alone in this dilemma! Thank you all in advance and happy holidays!