Hi, I'm new and I really need to be here. Burned Out.

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I've been through depression off and on for some years due to my life of caregiving. I am finally pulling myself out and attempting to have a life at age 50. Please feel free to message me or vent to me, as I've been through a lot too. ;) Katie


Welcome TFMW, happy to see you here.... this is my life line.... so check out different threads, get to know some folks, let us get to know you...many many 'voices' here. And ya, we know about burn out..... hope you find a home here.... hugs
Hi Katie. Welcome! I think you would be a great help to lots of people here. I just found this site around May 30 of this year. If you click my name, you can see my background. When my father had a minor stroke last year and became bedridden (his choice), I ended up caring for 2 bedridden parents. I foolishly thought that my 7 siblings would help me. All my siblings have pursued their own lives, married, kids, grandkids, travel, etc....I thought they would finally help me. NOT. I was going through anger, resentment and depression and was quickly going downhill fast towards actually committing suicide. Not threatening to fam any more...
....One morning in late May, I woke up and realized that I was living in a prison. Strange, isn't it? That you also thought of your life as if living in a prison. Except, I thought of my prison as Forever. I started crying and came on to this site and asked for help...because I didn't want to die but I knew that if I didn't seek help NOW, I was going to carry the Plan on Friday. It was a very bad time for me. I've had a few meltdowns since then but not as bad as THAT one.

I think with your background, you would be a great help to others. Would you mind also introducing yourself to these? There are more but I have noticed that a lot of the posters comment over the stress of their caregiving on these 2 threads.
1. Caregiver, How are YOU?
2. Grossed Out? Need to Vent?

I would love to see you on these two threads! If you only have time to follow one, then you may choose whichever one. Take Care!!!
Hey! Come on over to the "Caregiver, how are you thread"! Nice people there.
50 is young!!! 50 is the beginning of the greatest time. You've grown into your skin and have lots to share with us. Welcome! :)
Welcome Katie, I too am burned out. I am 49.. Have been taking care of my mom since 2007..I just realized that I am in the beginning stages of depression, and at times angry all the time, I have just made the decision to put my mom in a living facility. Even tho it is tugging at my heart on what I am about to do, I also feel a big burden lifted off my shoulders...
Welcome... I try to relive my stress by telling my stories on here in hopes people can gain something good from them. My Mom has dementia and is quite a character so the things that used to get me crazy are actually funny now. I found out Mom is the easy part, rest of the family are the one's that are delusional. So I see Mom a lot at the NH the other residents have become my family too. A little attention and a smile is all they need sometimes.
I am also new to this forum. I'm angry, sad and depressed. Taking care of both parents for more than 17 years. We moved them in with us when my father became ill which was 17 years ago. Just before they became to ill to care for himself they were bankrupt and facing forclosure. I was living hapily on my own when i found out and purchased their home so they wouldnt loose their life savings. They were so far gone it took a small miracle to get the house out of foreclosure and the 100k equity to them. My then fiance and i lived together for maybe 1yr in the home before they moved back in due to illness and we have cared for them ever since. again bankrupt after paying all bills and some bad investments. Dad passed away 5 years ago. My mother suffers from M.S. which has gotten really bad this past year. We have help now a few days a week which should help but unfortunately, it seems to have done the opposite. Almost seems like now I have some free time and now realizing the normal life we missed and deserved. I'm mentally exhausted and so mad for having to take care of them financially, physically and emotionally for so long. Feeling so much resentment but mostly just used in general. And of course there's the guilt for having these feelings towards my very handicapped mother who can't speak or walk etc. I think it's time for some professional help.:)
TFMW, you have a double dose of hardship. I know a bit of what you are going through. I moved in with my parents 3 years ago. My father had what we now call Asperger's. He was a brilliant man who was able to work his entire life, but he never bonded with anyone. He disliked people, including his family. After he retired, he left the house less and less often. The last ten years were spent sitting in a chair by the window. The only time he would get out of the chair was to go to the bathroom or bed. Occasionally we were able to get him out to go to a doctor. Those were nightmare episodes, occasionally resulting in meltdown. Fortunately, I was able to calm him fairly quickly when they happened. His life was hard. He passed away last spring.

Does you son feel safer in the house because he can control his environment better there? Is he smart? It is sad to see a life lived avoiding things, since many people on the autistic spectrum learn to cope so well and actually enjoy working. Does he have any passions? My father's passion was for math and lists. He was very orderly and worked as an electrical engineer. It fit him perfectly. (Being a father, though, was beyond his abilities.)

I'm glad you are here. We are all in this family-constructed prison. I'm glad I can get out for a few hours at a time. My main problem is there is so much to do that I have trouble setting aside a block of time to get out, and I am in a city where I don't know anyone. After three years of cg, I don't know what lies ahead. Life has been totally interrupted.

Welcome Katie-tfmW? When u come on here-that's when! We all care for one another n find a way to momentarily escape from our isolation. Yes u do have double whammy. Come back often, we'll get you laughing, promise! Especially that Judy girl! Hey Judy! May you all find a laugh and a moment of fun tomorrow. Kimbee
Hi Katie. THANK YOU! Never before have I ever even said those things out loud. Your invite to vent hit me and it all came out making me feel a little better. So, thanks so much for that. May I ask what has changed that allows you take time for yourself now? I'm 48 and just now taking some time due to depression. I went to dr yesterday and was crying so hard he couldn't understand why I was there. I ran out like a big stupid. Ahhh! WTH. What tings are you doing for yourself now?

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