I can't take living with my grandparents anymore!

Started by

I live with both my ailing grandparents (Grandfather, stage 4 kidney disease, grandmother, onset dementia,) and I honestly cannot take their attitude with me anymore. Neither one of them can help with the housework anymore, so inbetween my part-time job, full-time school, I have to find time to care for them; even if it means sacrificing spending some quality time with my other fmaily and friends. No body else in my family helps care for them, save for when my brother comes over maybe every other week to mow the lawn. My grandfather is emotionally/mentally abusive- he has called me lazy, a liar,and other mean things more often than not, he abuses me with harsh words such as "you never give but take," nothing I do is good enough for him. It's almost as if he wants me to be there 24/7, and give up on school and my fiance. Also, I hardly make enough money to begin with, but when it comes to food/groceries, god forbid my grandmother buys any food for me to use, even though I have offered to cook on top of what I already do for them. It's gotten so bad, that I am seriously considering enlisting in the Air Force just to get away from them- let someone else take care of them. I don't know what to do- but I do know that I need to get out of this situation soon, or else it's going to kill me before it does them! I hate feeling this way about them, but they make me so miserable and I have shed so many tears of the mean things grandpa says, and grandma's telling me to roll over and put up with his bullying.

3 Comments

Enlist in the AF; it's probably the best thing you can do for yourself.

Where are your parents and the rest of the family, and how did you come to live with GPs in the first place?
I agree..enlist in the Air Force.
The educational opportunities are first rate. You can finish your college education and earn a degree (nothing is better for your future)
If you find Air Force life to your liking, you will find the benefits are great and the pension is unbeatable.

For your well being and your future...please seriously consider it. Not as a retaliation because you are abused...but as a big positive step for your own future!!!

No one your age should throw away their future or their well being on elder care.
Dear Anna,

I'm very sorry to hear about everything you are going through. There is a lot on your young shoulders. From everything you are saying it is time to get help and look at other care options for your grandparents. If your family will not help you, then please talk to a social worker or call Adult Protective Services. There are options in the community and through church. Do not feel like you have to bear all the responsibility and duty alone.

You have been more then dutiful and loving towards your grandparents. Now is the time in your young life to focus on your own future and well being. Get your grandparents the help they need but then focus on yourself.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support