If they can't handle the truth, why do they call?

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Got a call from moms cousin. Uncle Ron. 7 years ago they where a pair of pure terrors. I've heard all the stories, several times.

When you ask me how she is, I will tell you the honest truth, least from my eyes.... their own mother died from AD. If you cannot handle it the truth, from my life, don't call.

Do they want me to say mom is doing awesome!!? I can't.... i simply cannot.


I hear you! My sister dosnt want to hear anything bad i feel like "screaming wake up and smell the coffee".

They "ask" but they dont want to know the ins and outs but they will d*mn well hear it its not ok for just us to go through this alone family should be made to listen to the reality and stuff this "denial crap". I want my sister to wake up as i think shes in lala land and she will fall to pieces when the time comes because she wont wake up and listen to the truth.
I know how frustrating this is and yes ive said to my sister when she tries to get rid of me off the phone if you wont listen why ask how she is?

Yeh just another little annoying thing to stress us out! Next time ask him why hes calling?
denial .. ive been seeing it everywhere since im wired on ribavirin. nobody knows s**t . freakin losers . when i screw up i own it . maybe caregiving has caused us to stare facts straight in the face and discard BS en masse ..
he he . pizzed a drug screen at the va two weeks ago that had smoke coming off it . they didnt have to bust me . i told em . i might wash down a zan with a beer but im not a liar ..
maybe.... maybe all of this is on spot. She still hates me, Come into earshot of her and she will whisper to you that I am secretly plotting to kill her.

At times I think I should put her in that home she is so afraid of....

She is just so mean... so negative.... she's glaring at me this moment.

paranoid delusions jeanette . to be expected .. look up capgras effect ..
I don't want to look it up. I've looked so much sh*t to explain to me WHY...ahhh

Yeah, that always drives me crazy. It's caused me to distance myself from these people -- not that I was ever particularly close or involved with them anyway. But I've mentally moved on from them. I don't keep them informed. If they ask, I know now that it's just them being superficially polite, and I say "she's fine" or whatever is relatively accurate. It also used to drive me crazy when my mother would get a visitor or a phone call from someone she hadn't seen or spoken to in a long time, and that person would facebook me and say "Your mom sounds great!" Or, "I had a lovely time with your mother!" I would be hoping that they'd give me the cold, hard truth about how she's obviously declining, but I think they'd rather not deal with the unpleasantness, and instead want me to know that they at least reached out to her. I'd get so angry. But I just blow these people off now. I click 'like' so they know I'm not actively ignoring them. But I never comment back. What's the point?
I wish I had some advice but no family calls to ask about Mom.
Good for you looloo but i cant be that nice when my sister phones and asks how mum is? i tell her i dont have time for chitchat i have a huge mess in the bathroom to clean up and boy do i go into detail! Sorry but i aint sailing this ship alone if they dont want to know i make sure in some way that they do know every god d*mn detail.
And yes i hear ya the MOST irritating thing "mum sounds in good form" mums quite perky???? come and do my job for a month when the acting gets too much for even her! Mum has her 1st apt with a shrink next wk and none of them know why should i tell them if they cared theyd know!
Reading all of these posts makes me so sad. What DO we want people to say? And I don't mean the "what can they do to support us" - that's a separate thing. I mean, what should they say when they are trying to keep up an interest in a person they care about (even if it's only because they USED to care about them, once) who is, in fact, doing very badly?

What is the 'correct' reaction to such a sad thing?
This may or may not help..I think 50% of the human population is brained wired for only positive feedback. These are the people who do not hear any negative info and they ignore what they their mind cannot process.

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