Can parents be harmful to themselves - vent
A little background, last year my sister (who had moved into my parent's house with her husband and children) was told to leave by the Adult Protect Services, at the behest of my parent's attorney. They were not happy with the care she was providing, especially in lieu of the $6000/month fee she was charging (plus free rent, utilities etc). She was given an ultimatum to leave, and APS with the lawyer made sure to remove her access to any of my parent's finances, and cancel the Power of Attorney she had. After she was out, my father felt at ease to open up to me in more detail about my sister's plans to take possession of my parent's house, and to increase the monthly fee.
Since then my parent's lawyer organized for a professional financial services firm to take on my parent's power of attorney and help them out. They helped my parents sell their house and move into an independent living arrangement.
So last night I was talking to my father, and he says, "You know it's almost been a year since your sister left, and we still haven't heard from her." I pointed out that it had actually been over a year.
He said that he had been talking to the staff person from the professional financial services firm about this. She told my father that maybe he had to be the adult and make the first move. So he went ahead and wrote my sister a note and prepared a banker's check for $1000 to show her that he had no hard feelings.
"What are you hoping to come out of this," I asked him.
"I'd like to have a normal relationship with your sister, like I have with you, one that's not based on money."
"But that's exactly what you're doing," I said, "you're trying to get back into her good side with money."
"Well its an investment," he said.
"No this is more of an experiment," I said.
He started to present a new interpretation of events that had lead up to my sister's forced departure, that she was trully interested in my parent's welfare and lawyers had forced my sister to take large fees for caregiving.
I called the professional financial services firm to let them know how my father had taken initiative to restore contact with my sister, and they were surprised and shocked.
I was shocked too, and just felt like "Well, here we go again."
Has anyone else seen parents taken advantage by children, then let them do it again?