Burn that bridge, lol

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man i got s**tfaced with a " friend " last night in an email. she would be a lifesaver if she would just take my mother out for a sandwich ever now and then but like too many phony friends shes just pretty much all about herself. oh shes front and center on birthdays and holidays but this aint a birthday or holiday. this is about a lonely elder who wont be around for much longer. if she never speaks to me again i havent lost a damn thing.. she calls mother and i friends. what a perversion of the word..


Hi capnhardass- yeah, I know how you feel! Do you know how many people watch me and my husband struggle with our special needs daughter? How many friends and family and neighbors tell us how we are just sooooo special for taking care of our daughter and how we are angels for doing it and how hard it must be. And then they turn around and close their doors. I want to scream at them. I know, wrong forum, but same feeling. It is just -all it would take is for one lousy neighbor to ask their typical kid to just spend 10 friggin minutes playing with our daughter -10 minutes and she would be over the moon with happiness instead of watching the typical kids play without her. F**ckers. Pisses me off! Sorry to step into your story!!!

Soooo-just what did your email say?
your story coincides with mine. thanks for responding. hahaha, ill print the email here in a minute. f**k it, i dont piss off easily but ive done a lot of nice things for this woman for her to abandon me at this point.
you use the term " friend " rather frivolously *******. i hold no grudges, im bigger than that., if you ever fall ill and need personal assistance ill be there. your dad passed away suddenly and unexpectedly. what you dont know is if he would have required extensive bedside care, id have been there. yes i can clean up sh*t and change bedding and improvise mobility devices. im afraid you dont give me the credit i deserve sometimes. my crude demeanor is a f*&^% act to weed out the undeserving. ive done more to improve your life than anyone youve ever known, the expense was just to keep fuel in the truck. no guilt trip here, im just sayin dont fall victim to my crude screening methods. im a dedicated and loving motherf*&^%.. my mother needs female companionship right now . if you cant see it in your heart to help out then your friend concept is a f*&^% cheap farce. honestly i dont expect your help . i think your as shallow as a paper plate. yes, im pissed, you only know how to take, not much on giving. f*&^ you, thats my current mindset.. if you cant get involved now, dont come to my mothers funeral ill have you removed.. ( lol, i was pissed, still am. )
diplomacy aint my strong suit.
Ohh, but that must have felt goooood! (I am in such an ornary mood!) did she respond?
But , truthfully, I am sorry you may have lost a friend. But you said maybe she wasn't exactly one anyway. But it still stinks.
I am glad you sent that email!!!!! Brilliant!!!! I have care given both relatives and friends and have 4 right now (just took in another) and it makes me furious how family and "friends" disappear when needed. My grandmother, for example, had 7 kids and 13 grandkids. Out of 20, it is me who took her in and my mother is here too being cared for, so she only gets to see the two of us! The rest can't be bothered. They will all show up for the funeral though- to show off and get sympathy- and of course, for the reading of the will. That is how it happened when I had my grandfather here dying of pancreatic cancer. You haven't lost a friend. That woman was never a friend. Fair weather friends aren't friends. If she was a friend she would take your mom and spend time with her and with you and she would watch her so you could have free time. Mishka, we have taken in a special needs child (Down syndrome) whose single mom (a friend of ours) has died. We had let her set it up for us to take him if anything happened to her.
Cap'n under that rough exterior you have such a kind heart. I was struck by your desire for your mom to have female company and interaction. I'm really sorry your "friend" couldn't see that. I'm sure your mother would love to have some girl time.
So many times I've had friends who let the relationship be a give and take. I gave and they took. Don't need people like that in my life. It doesn't take much effort for it to be reciprocal. It would be great if your friend "gets it" but I wouldn't hold my breath.
And MishkaM, all I can say is how sad for your daughter. How unfortunate those other parents can't see what a good lesson they'd be teaching their kids to reach out to a child who was struggling. My dad taught me and I taught my kids. All of us have reached out to others who were having trouble and have been blessed beyond words. Those kids don't know what they're missing.
When it comes to friendship, all I can say is live and learn. If you can't depend on them then they are not a friend.
so far only screams of no reply. this gal was class queen, fair queen, miss popularity. its doubtful that anyone ever had the guts enough to get in her ass. pretty just doesnt compensate for selfishness..
@ terrim, if you don't mind me asking how old is your child with Down's syndrome? My daughter has Rubenstein-Taybi Syndrome which is a 16 th chromosome deletion-no reason why it happens they tell us. It presents itself a lot like Down's in the mental disability part and , I know Down's syndrome can have a lot of behavior issues as well as RTS( Rubenstein -Taybi) even autism. I have a hard time dealing with my Mom's needs and my daughter's significant needs- how do you do it with 4 caregivees? Do you have family help?-daughters, right? Do they help or do you have outside help? I only have my husband who is quite helpful but the only breadwinner so he has to concentrate on his job. I ask because I know it is kind of the expectation that we will take my Mom in if anything happens to my Dad and I want to but it really is hard with my daughter's needs. I know you are fiercely defensive about putting ones' parents out and I don't want to get into a debate about that because I respect your decisions and your passion in your choices just-HOW do you do it? Do you get county help? We are just now looking into county help with our girl as her behavior this last year has gotten to the point where we need it. And I cannot help but wonder - is her behavior worse because I have been taking Mom in? And should I stop trying to take care of Mom in our home?

@ Thanks, Always! I am so glad to here you and your kids are so kind. NOW COME MOVE NEXT DOOR TO ME!!! Actually not all kids are horrible here. In her school -she is integrated in a public school- she has chorus with the typical kids and those chorus girls -teens mind you, are soooo sweet to her and made a point of telling me they look out for her in school. It is just that her school is not in her district as her district did not have multiple disability capabilities so these girls live a ways away and as kind as they are to her in school it stops there.

Back to you, capnhardass, your "friend" has what I call "pretty girl syndrome"., I think. I know a few of those myself but alas, do not suffer from it myself.
Could you please E-mail my sister? lol

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