My mother is at nursing home, but my brother wants her home because he can get the pay as a caretaker. I do not agree.

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My brother is not the best caretaker, he is unable to provide 24/7 care for my mother, he just wants the income for himself, not the best interest for my mother.


Do you have POA? If not, you need to get POA immediately. Talk to the social worker at the facility and she can help you do this. Some people will advise getting an elder care attorney but attorney's are expensive and you might want to try to take care of this situation without an attorney at first.

If you think your brother is poised to waltz into the facility at any minute and just remove your mom contact Adult Protective Services and get them involved. Also contact the facility: the director, the Director or Nursing, the social worker and the various staff members who care for your mom and let them know that your brother wants to remove your mom so he can gain access to her income.

Take all the steps you can to prohibit your brother from removing your mom from the facility. If you think he's getting ready to do this get to the facility and call the police. If it actually gets this far you'll most likely have to involve an attorney so do your research and get the name of an elder care attorney. Threaten your brother with legal action. Maybe he'll back off. But be prepared if he is hell bent on doing this.
Thank you for your input, my brother and I both have POA, but for years he refused to sign the medical paper( she is legally blind) but only access my mother’s limited resource(money). He and my mother actually are co-dependents, it is so difficult to help and take care of people like them. She just complained to me, but when I said I will report him then she said I can not do that to my own brother….As we speak now, she is admitted to hospital again today, this is the third time in the last two months, he said this time he would skip Skill Nursing Home and go straight back to home. Can a patient insist to go home event hospital recommend to go SNF? I will refuse to sign the paper for her because it is again my conscience.
WOW..well you can have a medical person come in and check on ur mother at home from time to time and if ur brother is NOT taking care of ur mother right then call in the CALVARY (STATE) and have him remove from taking care of her
it occurs to me that she wouldnt be back in hospital if the care in the facility was adequate. i think the bottom line should be what your mother desires. you may not be impressed with your brothers care efforts but she might feel safe with him. when someone rags on me about whats best for my mom ive been referring them to her. until two docs say otherwise she is in control of this home as it should be.
not trying to criticize, some people are not cut out for institutionalized care and in fact dont live long after admission. let your bro take her home and muster adequate family / friend help to care for her. she complains to you about the brother. bet ya my jar full of nickels and metric bolts that she complains about you to him. ill throw in a used carburetor just to sweeten the deal..
blackmail your friends if you have to. be kind to my mom or ill cut your brake lines.
The social worker at the facility, doctor, my sister and I all met up for a meeting (my brother refused to come for the meeting), in my mother’s patient room in front of witnesses, my mother signed the Durable Power of Attorney for Health Care to me only, that is override the existing POA has both my brother and my name on it. My brother continues to spend her money illegally and not paying mother’s bills, soon or later I will do something about it.
Why didn't you have her sign the financial DPOA over to you at the same time?
What is a DPOA

What is a DPOA?

I did not need to get that financial POA after all because mother has passed away today, thank God I was able to let her get the best of care until her finally days.

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