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My sis that her husband have a very busy life golfing, euopean vacations, home and yacht in Florida, condo in Michigan. Thats great and I'm happy for her. However, I live with my mother who needs 24/7 care with a degenerative kidney disease with (what the doc says) only a few months to live. At this time I have no respite - my other sister takes mom to casino for a few hours a week which hleps. My brother is also extremely busy, traveling for work, etc. 5 hour trip to see mom - not easy and I understand as my mom has never had a relationship with her son, never helped him with anything emotionally nor financially. He left home at 15 and never returned. (I'm venting) My brother in law has taken over all aspects of mom's life - he insists on selling her house and putting her in a home - she doesn't want to go and I live and take care of her. His intervention has exacerbated the situation between siblings - however with his financial status and his wifes DPOA they feel they can control our lives. Can hardly wait for them to go back to one of their homes in another state. They are livid when we ask them to take mom for a few days or some financial help with food or medications. Guess the best way to handle this is to ignore them and not bother them with any problems we may have with health or money. Thanks for letting me tell my little story.

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I'm sorry that you have to endure this kind of treatment from your family. Unfortunately, your story isn't so little or unusual. A sibling with money and control takes over and the hands-on caregiver is left with the problems - it happens a lot.

You'd think with your mom having only a few months to live your sister and her husband could let things be. There's not likely a lot you can do legally, and anything you try will be expensive since they have the DPOA.

I wish I could give you a magic answer except I can't. Keep them aware that your mom's condition could worsen with a move she doesn't want and there's not that much time, anyway.

I'm wishing you the best. At least know that you have friends on this site.
Carol
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