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Not that it should be any surprise, but my h***ish battle continues with my mother's daily obsession to have a bowel movement. She is craving an enema......the same as a drug addict craves their next fix. I refuse to buy her this enema pack. I give her laxatives regularly.......for it's the only way she could possibly go. The day that she has her bowel movement is like heaven.......and then the battle starts until she has her next movement. Today.....the battle is brewing. She is arguing with me saying that her stomach hurts. I told her she had a bowel movement Sunday and she called me a liar......according to her, she never goes. She refused to take her medicine this morning......she told me to "stick them up my a**".......this comes from a 89 year old lady. (she turns 89 in April). Is is possible for anyone to be to crazily obsessed with having a bowel movement??? She thinks that once she has an enema then she will be cured......and then be able to go regularly without laxatives. Again, I'm 54 and my life consists of being a 24 hour a day slave.companion/caregiver. Is life fair???

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My mom's knee pains are worse when she doesn't go regularly...I guess her knee bone is connected to her poop bones....ha ha!

She gets miralax in her coffee (1/2 dose) any time she goes a day without a movement. I refuse to give her enemas (although she asks often) and she must suppository herself if she insists on one.

The bathroom area is a line in the sand...if she can not routinely handle the bathroom chores...then we need another arrangement....sure there are a few problems but we cope...

Just need the right cocktail and find something else to talk about. Oh no - "What is for dinner?"
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I'm having the same battle. It's exactly like a newly potty trained toddler. Yuck.
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I guess this obsession with bowel movements is a common preoccupation for elderly people. My grandfather who I take care of, is consistently obsessed with pooping. We finally got the correct cocktail so that he can be regular, but on one occasion I had to transfer him to a commode 46 times in one day because he constantly had the urge! Thanks for sharing your story it makes me feel better, and have the doctor prescribe lactulose its a banana flavored laxative that is suppose to be like colon blow.
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My grandmother was obsessed with bowel function all of her adult life. When she had children, they learned very quickly as soon as they could talk, NOT to complain of any ailment. Stomachache? Enema. Sore Throat? Enema. Headache? Enema. Fever? Enema. It was her answer for everything. No wonder my Dad and my Aunt never had normal bowel function for the rest of their lives.

In her later years, she forced her other son, who lived with her, to give her suppositories and enemas - what a horrible way to live.

I will never understand the obsession - I can only hope Mom doesn't get that way. Right now, I'm just dealing with the urinary incontinence and messy toilet habits because she doesn't clean up after herself. Small house with one bathroom means I have to pause before I use the bathroom myself to do clean-up, because she's left the toilet a mess. I should buy stock in the Lysol Disinfecting Wipes company....pretty sure if they build a new factory or offices, I will have financed it single-handedly.
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well theres an upside to everything . when doc wanted a stool sample from aunt , she made it easy . the first good movement and she was summoning anybody who would listen to take a look at this s**t ..
ni-ice , poke , poke , yippee , im on it ..
if she insisted on an enema id trick her into swallowing a cherry bomb . gotta work smart .. F that hard way jones crap ..
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I had a elderly retired nurse for a neighbor. She said man is preoccupied with sex the first half of his life and his bowels the second half.
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old people seem to be obsessed with pooping. my Mom is the same way. "i need a physic" I hear it at least once a week. she goes regularly. i just want to run and hide when she comes creeping down the hall, to eat, smoke, pee and ...'t. so burnt out i don't think i have a sane bone left in my body. well the favorite daughter is having back surgery next week and will be laid up for at least 8 weeks. maybe I won't have to listen to the baby talk between the two of them for a while. yuk. 96 and 70 and they still talk like 3 year olds. Mom thinks that I was born to serve their every need. Boy am I tired. Some things money doesn't solve. mom gets all excited when the favorite daughter is coming to down, smokes, eats and pees even more. changes her disposable briefs every 5 minutes. she's responsible for global warming all by herself. hahaha
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I my gosh!!! Poop!! People that deal with this too!! My 91 year old Mom talks poop all the time. So two weeks ago she was in the hospital with an impaction and I was shocked because her poop looked fine. I took her in because she was just out of it and her liver enzymes were very high and whenever she is sick they go sky high. Her thyroid needed adjusting and blood pressure medicine. So now that she is home I give her two stool softeners at bedtime and unsweetened prune juice, no water added. Now she says the prune juice is too much. She will sit and get all worked up like she ran a marathon race. Is that normal? She has to lay down after she goes. Then she sits many times a day because she is terrified to pass gas in case she makes a mess in her brief. I love her but her depression on top of everything else is so difficult. Thanks for listening!
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oh wow... I kind of wish I had this problem. My Dementia Dad (68) goes ALL THE TIME!! he goes on the floor, in the bed, in the chair. He hides it under the rug. I take 2 and 3 showers (yep he's gone in the shower too) a day to keep from feeling like I'm covered in it. What's worse is when he goes in his pants and then lies about it... or we are trying to get to an appointment and he does it in the car... immediately after being asked repeatedly if he NEEDs to WHILE he's on the toilet getting dressed. grrrrr... I feel your pain, just in reverse.
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Remember not pooping can cause confusion/delerium. We get that on day 4 of not pooping:)
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Sorbitol ask for it and a gift will arrive or citrate nitrate - signed the poop specialist
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I don't know, Ros, but something about all this, or the way you're writing it, gives me a weird, uneasy feeling and I'm not sure exactly why. I am going through my own situation, so maybe my perceptions are just all out of whack, but there's something about all this, these same types of posts...

Anyway, yes, it's back to money, the good old almighty dollar. You lay claim to having your fair share. I have to ask, and continue to ask, why aren't you using some of it to HIRE really, really good care takers for your mom part time? I don't understand why you aren't doing that if you have the means to do so. It would solve quite a bit of your problem, wouldn't it? It would give you a break and allow you at least some life, some relief, outside those four walls you claim you're trapped in. What most of us wouldn't give for that kind of opportunity. I'm beginning to wonder if Daenerys Targaryen was right on Game of Thrones. Maybe people really do learn to love their chains.

Anyway, you have the means to get the desperate help you need. Do that or why don't you? Or, do what I did, simply walk away and let your mom discuss her bowel habits with the walls. You can do that much at least. Make a habit of it. Your mom is obviously well enough to discuss her bowels all the time. Surely she can get that you don't want to discuss those issues quite that much and aren't thrilled at the thought of having to give enemas. God forbid. A professional who deals with these things all the time might be in order. I couldn't have done it even if my mom asked a million times. But bet I'd find somebody that got paid to handle it in a skinny second, that same day, had it become necessary. There are some things that people around here have had to deal with that I don't think I could have done. If you don't want to give enemas, find an alternate solution and hire a pro to give her one if she's insisting on it, or take her to see a doctor if the situation is dire enough to warrant wanting an enema for relief in the first place.... Maybe a doctor's visit is in order by this point. The way you're describing life with your mom gives me a twitchy feeling and I'm not even the one dealing. Alternate arrangements, Roscoe. The sooner the better wouldn't you think?
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Just had the argument with her tonight .. for god's sake, I only WISH my big problem in life was my bowels. I swear she lives on just to torment me .. sigh
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My mother continues to argue with me. She raided the med cabinet and got the milk of mag. and she is still wanting an enema. She constantly talks about this.....it could be an all day talk with her.....stool softeners, laxatives and enemas.......that is all I hear. She took a does of milk of mag. and she is till arguing. She is so impatient about waiting for it to work......she wants the enema.....immediate relief.....this is driving me nut's.......this is my daily life.....so freaking crazy.
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