Please help. My mom is 77 years old. She has bipolar disorder with psychotic tendencies, OCD, anxiety, and depression. I have had general power of attorney for her for the last 16 years, and also have full health care directive.
I believe my mom has stopped taking her meds. She was calling me up to thirty times a day. Now she has stopped calling me altogether. When I call her (in a panic) she is so anxiety riddled I cannot talk to her because it stresses ME out. (I also have generalized anxiety disorder.)
Throughout my life, my mom was in and out of mental institutions and half way houses. Initially this was due to not having a correct diagnosis. Later it was because she would willfully stop taking her meds as a means to "punish" my father and I for not giving in to whatever she wanted. She would threaten to stop taking them, and used this as a means to get attention. She was terribly abusive to us us. It took me many years to forgive my neglectful, abusive mother. But I did manage to. My older sister never has and refuses to even call our mother on the phone.
My mother relies on me for almost everything. I pay her bills, buy, deliver and put away her groceries, take her to her doctor appointments (psychiatrist), and keep virtually everything in order as best I can.
I feel such incredible guilt because I am thoroughly fed up and so angry with her that I do not even want to see her right now. However, I am not willing to relinquish her care to a stranger. I think I may need some temporary help. Is this possible? Who would I go to? I have no family to help me, and not much money.
My mother will not listen to me or do anything I ask no matter how simple it would be for her to do. I do not trust her at all at the moment, because I think she has lied about taking her meds for well over a month. She's a very manipulative woman, and has been for years. She wants to remain in her home, so I bought her a Life Alert pendant. She refuses to wear it. I spent $4,000 for her to have hearing aids, but she refuses to wear them. She refuses to let me take her to a doctor for a routine checkup/physical which she is long overdue for.
My mom only wants to talk about what I must do for her, and gives no regard to my requests at all. I do not ask very much from her. All I've ever asked is that she take her meds, see doctors when I feel she needs to, wear her hearing aids and wear her Life Alert Pendant. My resentment is building quickly. I need to do something that shows her that this is not a game, and that refusal to take her meds will have unpleasant consequences.
I love her, but I am SO SO ANGRY. Please help,me. I am feeling so alone right now.I'm sitting here in tears not knowing what to do.
Thank you in advance for any advice you can give me.
PS..Please forgive me if my post if scattered and not well-written, I'm very distraught at the moment and cannot concentrate. Feeling so over-whelmed that it's almost incapacitating.