Believing caregivers, how do I reconcile that scripture says to put others before me whereas the secular world says put me first?

Hi smeshque -I'm glad to hear you got over your illness. I'm sure Pres. Trump and his wife are recovering nicely. I heard he will be released from the hospital tomorrow to continue treatment at home. That's good news.

From what I read, the antibodies will protect those who have been infected with COVID from being reinfected. If they come in contact with a mutation of the virus, the second round will be less severe.

About your goats, I'm curious as to how goats behave. Are they smart like horses? How did you came up with the names for the girls? How about that beautiful border collie? Does s/he have a name?

Song: The Lonely Goatherd from the sound of music.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UmmOJx_Hxto

Smeshque: Oh, your photos are ever so cute and sweet. Thank you for sharing them.💞

Smeshque,
Yes, I am just keeping in practice being a Berean, searching for truth. It was not meant as a correction, because I really do want you to be having fun! But I need the practice!
Thanks for the goat photo! So nice of you. And your Border Collie! They come that way, you know, already to herd something by instinct. What a great time you must be having! 🐑



James 1:12
"Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him."

Send-I couldn't find one of just Abigail at this time, they are all on my phone.

So in this pic, she is the one furthest back, then its Rebecca and then foremost is Sarah. And my border collie who is becoming quite a good goat herder.

Yes Send- if I would just open my eyes I could see that. I always count on you to keep me in check. :)
Yes I will attempt to post a picture of my favorite Abigail. She is the sweetest goat.

Smeshque,
Lol, that is a bit of over-generalization, thinking you are the only one posting. Just in the month of September, there were six other posters:
SLMily
Petrasmall12
IAMKHM
Llamalover
NoTryDoYoda
and,
Polarbear Aug. 30th.

How are your goats? Are you taking pictures?

Hi everyone,

I guess I am the only one who writes here now. Ab's surgery went well, I believe it helped.
School is going ok.
I got sick earlier this week and so I did a COVID test, came out negative, thank the Lord. I also got Mom tested as a precaution, she is also COVID free. Please pray for our President and his wife, as they have got it.

Much love and prayers!


The law of the LORD is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple.
The statutes of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart: the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes.
The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring for ever: the judgments of the LORD are true and righteous altogether.
More to be desired are they than gold, yea, than much fine gold: sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.
Psalms 19:7-10

Hi everyone
I hope you all are well
Everyone is well here.
Not enough time in a day.
You all are always in my prayers. Please keep me in yours.
I have been studying hard. And it seems to take up more time than I would like.
AB is having another surgery, next week.
Always trying times here. But for the betterment of my soul.
Much love to you all

“Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.”
James 1:3

Its best to understand that when we are applying a scripture to our lives that balance is something we all struggle with, because we are a “part of life” ...something Jesus said himself in prayer.

To care for an ailing family member, what will (and has) given me peace of mind is implementing solutions that give me mental peace.
1. I have child locks on the exiting doors of the house to prevent my ALZ mom from exiting the home.
2. I have switched out regular doors for doors that lock so I can store items behind a lock door and use shelves to create a pantry for myself for convenience e.
3. I have removed breakable items and sharp knives from the kitchen and stored it in the locked pantry to prevent injury.
4. I removed the gas knobs from the stove to prevent an accident from occurring.
5. I play music to quiet the dark thoughts she may have (those paranoid thoughts she can’t help having).

for me:
I keep an online journal ( I use DayOne) to channel what I can’t process with others.
I electronically color {April Coloring) to use to break the stress for myself
i also study languages or work on writing a novel, learning a new hobby...something I can put down at a moment’s notice if I can.

It’s okay to mourn the loss of the person who lived s life with a longer leash.. as one gets older, it shortens because ailments and frailty can make that happen. For caregivers, that leash is felt more concretely because it’s natural to tug at a leash applied too soon....but again, “do unto others” applies.... and while that doesn’t change what is occurring, it will help ease the grief when the time comes to be released from that ‘leash’... because you did what the Bible asked and there will not be regret on your part for the effort you made to lessen their final days on earth.

As my mom gets worse, me, like so many before me, will toggle between wanting to help and inwardly muttering “what about me and my needs?” But part of being human is knowing they once did it for you...and at some point... someone will be doing the same for you. Loss of privacy, loss of autonomy is what happens when we get old... no one wants to literally rely on others for things we once used to do without thought. But we are a community of people... and resourceful...and now more so than ever...we have to adapt and use muscles we haven’t thought of using in an age of technology and self-importance.

a job will always insist they come first and demand all to sacrifice at the altar of it until they decide who is expendable. If we keep our lives simple...like the Bible says... we won’t have so much debt to shoulder if a company should decide to lay off or otherwise. One’s job pays bills....it doesn’t replace the person we grew into or the person we will still become. One’s career will not outpace what a person from childhood to retirement... a career usually ends long before our lives do.

Perspective along with patience can help adjust to daily life. Hope this helps.

Who are we
That You would be mindful of us
What do You see
That's worth looking our way
We are free
In ways that we never should be
Sweet release
From the grip of these chains

Like hinges straining from the weight
My heart no longer can keep from singing

All that is within me cries
For You alone, be glorified
Emmanuel
God with us
My heart sings a brand new song
The debt is paid, these chains are gone
Emmanuel
God with us

Lord, You know
Our hearts don't deserve Your glory
But still You show
A love we cannot afford

Like hinges straining from the weight
My heart no longer can keep from singing

All that is within me cries
For You alone, be glorified
Emmanuel
God with us
My heart sings a brand new song
The debt is paid, these chains are gone
Emmanuel
God with us

Such a tiny offering
Compared to Calvary
But nevertheless
We lay it at your feet
Such a tiny offering
Compared to Calvary
But nevertheless
We lay this at your feet

All that is within me cries
For You alone, be glorified
Emmanuel
God with us
My heart sings a brand new song
The debt is paid, these chains are gone
Emmanuel
God with us

God With us-Mercy Me

NoTryDoYoda- I pray that the most high will give her strength and a peace mind.

Hi everyone.. Just a little update !
My youngest sister who has been helping me and my mother with my grandmother no longer helps us. There is lots of conflict between Us and my older brother so please keep us in your prayers. Now it’s just me and my 19 year old sister but she has her days where she doesn’t really want to help so it will be just me or my mom and me. But God is so good. Recently my aunt (grandmother’s daughter) has been a big help. Coming over sometimes with her daughter and grandkids to sit and talk with my grandmother so I thank God for that.

As far as college I still haven’t made a decision but I took up learning art and it’s something I really enjoy and passionate about. If it’s his will I will probably take only classes to help me with the basics. Also I’m focusing on creating a blog for young adults and teenagers on how to find their way to Jesus. I’ve been unmotivated to finish but I’m praying that Jesus will give me the strength and motivation I finish.

I just want to say thank you all so much for your wisdom and encouragement last time I explained my situation. You truly are wonderful people and I pray that Jesus will bless and keep you all. Continue to trust in him and any and every situation and circumstance and always keep your mind filled with him so that you will be kept in perfect peace!

The "secular world" says take care of yourself so you can better take care of others. Read your own words. You're struggling. The power of prayer is strong, but the power of self-care is equally strong, for it allows you to keep your sanity while you keep your faith. Find someone of faith who can give you a break and allow you to reclaim your health and your spirit.

NoTryDoYoda: I see that I was late to pray, sir. I offer you prayers nonetheless. I am glad for the positive contact that you offered to your God sister.
For I, too, burned out when I had to live out of state with my mother. That was EXTREMELY difficult. Not to turn the topic to myself at all; just to let you know that there are others who have been done that caregiving road, which as you may know is not easy.

Smeshque: That's truly lovely, dear lady. You are such a blessing.

Thanks for your prayers! I contacted my God-sister today. She told me that her depression is getting worse. Her basically disabled husband has been on oxygen from even before the Pandemic due to cancer treatment ruinning his immune system. She say that some days he's better than other days, he's worse.

I asked her to tell me honestly, how are you doing way down in your gut? She said that this is really getting to her. She needs more meds and sees the need for more help as well as for her to get help from a therapist. I appreciate her emotional honesty and the wisdom she has to see what needs to be done next. I told her that I had contacted her today for I was feeling deeply concerned about her. She thanked me for my prayers and support to which I responded thanks, but that's what God-brothers are to do. Like I said last night, if I thought my driving up there would actually help, I would, but I can help her here by keeping in touch with her. I try to listen to my own gut as to when it might be time to check in on someone. Earlier this year, my sister in law needed some support and now things are much smoother. She said she was glad that someone cared that much about her. Well, that's what a good BIL does. Good night.

Please pray for my God-sister who has been shut up at home with her greatly disabled husband who is on oxygen and can barely get around. She has hired help to come in two days a week so that she can work at work. She has many wonderful friends and many family members are near by. The other five days, she works from home and takes care of her husband. I am thinking that I need to call her on her smartphone for she is not on Facebook for a good while.

I think I know where she is for I've been there myself. You reach a point where you are so busy that you are not aware that you are burning out while you are burning out which leads to a collapse. I feel a bit helpless to help her directly being a 14 hour drive from her which I could make in one day if I thought it would really do some good.

I got this update from her sister that I'm good friends with an chat a lot on Facebook with. All of my 50+ cousins in Ohio are wonderful people. My dad had me with them so much while I was very young and down through the years plus stayed in their homes like at Jackie's, that many of us feel more like siblings than just cousins. In fact, Jackie has told me that she loves me as a brother.

Ok, I'll calm down in a bit, but thanks for your prayers and for listening.

You may rest a while if the going be tough,
Take a breath when the terrain is rough;
Let the oars have a respite
And rower some viands bite.

But the journey must anon continue,
For time tells motions of the brave
(According to the lores heavens gave) ,
Shall all forever subdue the earth;
And man's toil shall win him mirth.

Pull your ear from naysayers' sigh
That affirms that yes they can't;
Keep the company of them that try;
Dwell in the fold of sons of hope.

Remember it's no crime to slip a cry
If bristles of fate prick your heart;
Allow a tear if the pain be too much,
But in all this remember this part:
You must always keep on keeping on!

Nothing has ever successfully stood
In the bold path of a determined man,
Who keeps walking despite the mood.
The world lacks case of one who tried,
And was the object of his toil denied!

Give ear all that hear the spoken word,
For none like this has ever been heard.
The esoteric code that rules the world:
That you'll have to keep on keeping on!

Hannington Mumo


Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.
1 Corinthians 15:58

smeshque - good to hear from you and that you're starting a goat business and going back to school. Oh boy! That's exciting and busy for sure. You must have tons of energy.

School started here, too, and because I homeschool my kids, that means things get busy for me also. Summer flew by. In fact, the whole 2020 is flying by. I hope 2021 has better things in store for everyone.

Good evening everyone,
I hope you all are well.
It has been a roller coaster ride around here to say the least.

So I started back to school two weeks ago. The first time in my life I was in school and everyone has a mask on. It is so different that's for sure.

We have gotten into the goat business. Im going to sell goats milk, chesses and soaps, Lord willing.
Friday I didn't have any classes so we went out of state to pick up a buck to freshen our girls. He sure is stinky, which is why we don't want to keep a buck, just rent one. We have one little guy but DH banded him, so he will be a wethered goat and not stinky or a nuisance to the girls. I am ever so excited about this goat journey, i have always wanted to do this. We are doing Nigerian Dwarf goats.

Anyway, all is well here. Mom's birthday is this week, so I've got many gifts to be delivered throughout the week. And then we will do a road trip.
Ab's dog was hit by a car, which provoked the beginning of the goats. Because I wanted him to have some animals around he could pet and watch and just kinda hang out with when he missed his boy. He quite enjoys them and even bought a couple to add to the group.
He is doing well, minus the grieving of his dog, which is quite understandable.

Well anyway, i just wanted to check in, and tell you all I love you. I think about you daily and keep you all in my prayers.

Time is quite a treasure which I seem to lack. I stop in when I can, don't always have time to post. But I will be back again.

Take care you all, know you are loved and cared about.


“The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life; and he that winneth souls is wise.”
Proverbs 11:30

He said love our neighbors as ourselves. Ourselves first. You cannot give unless you have something to give. We cannot give up self unless we have a self to give up. We don't not mourn. Of course, we mourn the loss of ourselves, the loss of the loved one we care about. Yes, we mourn.

But... you knew there had to be a but...right? But even HE retreated to the mountains, to the garden, to be alone to ask for this to be taken away. He would always add, "If it be Thy will."

You seek and you have found a like-minded soul who understands. Joy and a sort of peace follow understanding that as we do it unto the least, we do it unto HIM. Slow down. Read deeply. Let it speak to you in the silence.

God always wins anyway, no matter what the struggle looks like.

Ephesians 6:12
New American Standard Bible

12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.

His compassions are new every morning.

Lamentations 3:31–33

 For no one is cast off
by the Lord forever
 Though he brings grief, he will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love
 For he does not willingly bring affliction
or grief to anyone

Yes, Smeshque, you are right about this verse:
“Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near:”
Isaiah 55:6

Bed side vigil.
From a distance.
It could be today.

Beatty- I learned a long time ago. That our parents are going to do what they choose, they like us do not want to be told what to do. Sometimes as much as it hurts we have to just let the chips fall. Even though we may be the one cleaning things up. Personally I want/wanted my parents to be able to make their own choices as long as possible, even if I did not agree. If they do not make the choices we wish they would, it will not work out well if we try and force them.Pray a lot, God will help. If your parents are people of faith, God is watching out for them more than we can.

Just for those who did not understand my last post. I might have not made it very clear, but I did say you must take care of yourself first in order to be any good to anyone else.

I hope all of you are well and taking care of yourselves, and loving the Lord.
Especially in these times it it so important to love HIM.
All is well here on the homestead. We have gone into the goat venture. Nigerian Dwarf goats. They are super.
Mom is well, and AB is doing much better since his surgery.

The Lord has been good to us, so much more than we deserve.

“Seek ye the LORD while he may be found, call ye upon him while he is near:”
Isaiah 55:6

Hello. I know this thread has been going a long while but I have just tuned in Aug 1 with that eloquent description of caregiving from Smeshque.

I try to be a practical person. So I saw it was not practical to give up my job to care for my sister. My Husband, children & I would suffer the financial fallout. Same deal with aging parents. Especially as DH now lost his job due to Covid.

My Father has strong faith & puts others first. He has not yet recovered from an operation but is bringing Mother home from a stint in a NH early (due to Covid risk). I certainly understand. I suggested getting extra home help instead.

Mother is already busy trying to cancel this extra help, plus cancel the help they already have. I am trying to get him to see that BOTH their needs are important. That even if he still prioritises her needs over his, there is a big difference between her *needs* & her *wants/wishes/whims*.

He is a competent adult to decide but many people (inside & outside the family) are concerned he will burn out.

Suggestions on how to broach this with him?

Enoch pleased God because of his relationship with God, and the Lord said, “Enoch, this is what pleases Me most. Let's walk into eternity together.” What's interesting is that this is exactly what the Lord said about His Son, Jesus.

It is about a relationship, not about trying harder.

We sing...
As we worship You
Let all the world come and see
How the mercy we've received from You can set them free
And as we worship You
Let all this joy that fills our hearts
Bring a hunger and a hope to those who've strayed so far
As we bow in adoration and stand in reverent awe
Show Your majesty and glory, let Your anointing fall
As we declare Your name Lord Jesus, as the only name who saves
May the power of Your salvation fill each heart we pray
As we worship You
Let all the nations hear our song
Song of Jesus and his blood that proved His love for all
As we worship You
May all the lost and broken come
May they hear Your still small voice call out their names each one
As we bow in adoration and stand in reverent awe
Show Your majesty and glory, let Your anointing fall
As we declare Your name Lord Jesus, as the only name who saves
May the power of Your salvation fill each heart we pray
As we worship You Lord
As we worship You
Let all the world come and see
How the mercy we received from You can set them free
And as we worship You
Let all this joy that fills our hearts
Bring a hunger and a hope to those who strayed so far
As we bow in adoration and stand in reverent awe
Show Your majesty and glory, let Your anointing fall
As we declare your name Lord Jesus, as the only name who saves
May the power of Your salvation, fill each heart we pray
As we worship You (oh yes we worship)
As we worship You (fill our hearts, Lord)
As we worship You (we lift our hands and we worship you, Lord)
As we worship You (sweet Lord Jesus)
As we worship You (come and fill our house with Your glory)
As we worship You (oh we welcome You here)
As we worship You (oh yes, worthy King of Kings)
As we worship You (as we bow)
As we bow in adoration and stand in reverent awe
Show Your majesty and glory, let Your anointing fall (right now)
As we declare Your name Lord Jesus, as the only name who saves
May the power of Your salvation, fill each heart we pray
As we worship You
As we worship You
As we worship You (oh Lord)
As we worship You (let Your anointing fall)
As we worship You (right where you are)
(Lift your hands and begin to worship)
As we worship You (let Your glory fall)
As we worship You (let Your spirit come on in)
As we worship You (fill our hearts)
As we worship You
Oh we welcome You here
We worship You Lord, oh yes
Oh we worship You Lord, oh
(Oh we worship, we worship)
Oh yes we do
(We give You praise)
Oh we worship You Lord (we give You praise)
Oh we worship You Lord
Let Your glory flow as we worship
We worship You lord (send Your spirit Lord)
As we worship You Lord
As we worship You Lord
As we worship You Lord
As we worship You

Don Moen

Smeshque, I hear you, but I just don't see it. If we are to love others to the point where we lay down our lives for them, does that mean letting them destroy the very self that God made us as? Does that mean that victims of abuse should not leave? Helping people is one thing, but killing yourself doing it is another. I may be wrong, but this just doesn't sit well with me.