Being power of attorney for my Mom is driving me to suicide.

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Being responsible for every financial form, Dr.s appts, setting up care, feeling guilty when LTC insurance pays caregivers late, feeling guilty that medicaid waiver got so delayed, even though it was the doctor & lawyer’s fault. I see no end to fighting the insurance, the assistance office, etc. I can’t take it anymore & see no out but suicide.


Sterno. Talk to us. Suicide is not a good plan.

Tell us what is going on.

Can you call the national suicide hotline? Be back in a sec with number.
tel:1-800-273-8255 that's the national suicide hotline.

Is your mom is crisis? Is she in a safe place? How about you?
Suicide is not the answer. But finding someone else to take over your mom’s finances is a good idea. You don’t mention if you have family members who could take over, but that’s one idea. I commiserate with your feelings about the job. I’ve always kept my own finances simple because I’m no business expert for sure. I hope you consider what alternatives are open for you and I’d tell the lawyer I’m not coping well and what help can he recommend?
Hi Sternotherus,
Caregiving is a long difficult road, and we're happy you have found the support of others here on this site.
However, there are limits to what untrained members on our site can provide for you.
Please reach out to experts for additional support and the help you need 24 hours a day at the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
Call 1-800-273-8255
Hi sterno - I know it seems endless, but it is finite. Call the suicide line and tell us more. There are many here going through the same thing. There is help.
I already have tried many therapists & psychiatrists & the meds help a little, but I’m overwhelmed by everything that needs to be done & each call leads to 3 others & each form to other forms & there’s never any resolution. My Mom’s money is running out & we owe the lawyers at least 3,000. She has ltc insurance but it only pays half so we’ve spent since September applying for medicaid & the doctors & the lawyers & the agencies keep screwing up so now she’s down to her last dime & we hope medicaid will be approved, but she needs 24 hr care in home & the lawyer said they won’t give her that & everyone keeps asking me questions I can’t answer. I’m so burned out & my job is stressful & time consuming. I don’t have anyone I can turn to for help.
My Mom is safe for now, unless medicaid says she can’t have 24 hr care. Thanks for asking.
((((((((sterno)))))) The issue is more that you are safe. Have you asked your local agency for aging for assistance ? Check with them what happens if you resign as POA and there is no back up. I contemplated resigning as POA more than once. Things have settled down since. I hate paperwork with a passion and get overwhelmed with it too. I am behind with my taxes and mother's . For your own sake you may have to back out and let the state take over. Your mother will be looked after, though maybe not in her home. There comes a time when a parent needs 24/7 care that a care center is a better place for them. Many seniors do not want to leave their homes, but, realistically, a facility provides for their needs at a lesser cost than 24/7 at home. The system cannot sustain that. Try to let go of the guilt - it plagues many caregivers, most in fact, though they are doing nothing that warrants it. ((((((more hugs)))))))
I am safe for now, but miserable. The agency on aging is not helpful. I feel too guilty to give up POA. & especially to let my Mom go to a home.
Thanks for your support.
I still don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.
I sure understand the miserable. I think I understand about feeling guilty about giving up POA. Why do you feel guilty about your mum being placed in facility. 24/7 care at home is only for the wealthy.
Can you tell us a little more about your mum and her health issues and also about your relationship with her? I have been in situations where I could not see a light at the end of the tunnel. It is scary.
Do you have a support system where you are - friends and/or family?

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