She's begging me to have her moved...again!!!

Started by

I don't know how much more of this i can take.. i am being a faithful daughter, assisting her as much as i can.. my mom is not liking the facility in which i had to switched to & she keeps calling me to have her moved to yet another one. im not from here, so i don't know of reputations by word of mouth, etc like i would back home.. she doesn't get along w the staff & doesn't like "how long" they take to come when she rings that damn button. I've posted before on how draining this all really is.. shes not giving herself enough time w PT and shes resisting anything they try to do to encourage her, she just called me NOW (again.. while im @ work).. calling me telling me to give up her cat & make arrangements bc shes never coming home... i cant take this & still work & take care of MYself.. thank u all for reading

5 Comments

My mother was the same, wanting to be moved somewhere "better". She was in a lovely nursing home where the staff and care were A1 but, in her mind, out there somewhere was a nursing home that was like a 5 star resort with meals cooked to order, room service and instant attention. Of course she was a narcissist life long, everyone was beneath her and nothing was ever good enough.

She would call me every day ranting and raving until my nerves were so bad I blacked out doing 85 in my truck. It was momentary, no harm done, but it was a wake up call. I changed my phone number and made it unlisted - told her I didn't use it and got rid of it. I was always careful not to give her my address either or she'd have sent the cops round.

Do phone calls at work come through a switchboard or receptionist? If so, just have them tell her you're out or in a meeting or if you have caller ID just don't answer it. If you don't have caller ID maybe you can get it. I don't know what else to suggest.
thx for reading & responding.. she calls my cell (several times a day.. starting @7).. i don't want to ignore her in case of an emergency... i no longer listen to her voicemails bc they're just nonsensical and upsetting for me... i'll just have to rem not to respond until after my work day..
T, she's in a facility. She has an emergency button to push for staff. "Call the staff about that, mom". Stop taking her calls. The facility will call you if they think she needs to go to the hospital.
Babalou is right on. The nursing home staff will call you if there's an emergency. When I changed my number I made sure the NH had it. I wouldn't give my mother my cell ($10 a month) number as I never turn it on. Living out in the country I just carry it for emergencies and/or the need for roadside assistance.
Taurean, Since you are not in the area possibly a Geriatric Care Manager would be in order to check on your mom. The added bonus? GCM would know if there were any problems with the current facility and recommend one that may work better for mom. I have a hunch mom just wants your attention, and you can delegate that to others that will be able to respond and check on her living situation. The current facility is probably fine.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support