I've been trolling for an hour here, and reading different posts and profiles, and I see I have a neighbor on here!

Started by

Thinking how nice it would be to have one of you wonderful people near by.......maybe we could have coffee and support each other.......THEN I see it is someone who just verbally attacked people here that I "know" and love.......I'll stick with the site. You can't "click" a negative person goodbye with a click, in a coffee shop. Sigh.


Sorry for the extra CLICK, I didn't proof read. I don't have a degree but I know GUILT and QUILT are two different words.
LOL ... won't you be my neighbor?
Haha BoniChak - it's like on Facebook. Sometimes when you see what your "friends" post, you wonder how you were ever friends. There are certain current threads on here I have to stay away from, as I want to start arguing with people. Too bad some folks don't take that minute to stop and think before attacking.
I don't think anyone attacked her, she just couldn't handle people disagreeing with her. Its not worth getting mad because someone doesn't agree with you.;
One thing I really have a hard time with is people telling me to give my highly abusive hoarder parent a "big hug" and "just love her more." In the past, I have simply walked away from the site for a while when these people get under my skin. Fortunately, I learned a long time ago that arguing on the internet does nothing but raise your blood pressure. Like SharynMarie said, it's not worth getting mad about. In real life, you have to work on relationships, and here on the web, we can walk away and work on our own problems that we came here to work on! :)
Sometimes people post and really do not think first, I've done it myself once or twice on days that I have been terribly worn out. I do not like when people seem to be trying to get into my head. That is what I thought that thread author was doing, so I left it alone. There are also people that will start a thread, or provide responses that they know is going to get people's angst up. What do they call them? Internet trolls? I become especially suspicious if the person's profile is hidden or does not show much activity. But, maybe they are new to AC though too.
I have a feeling that I would get along with most people on the group. It would be fun to all live in the same place. We could have adult daycare and everything we needed provided by us for us. That would be great. And our loved ones would love it, too, I'm sure.

One thing I've learned in being a caregiver is there is a lot of days when we are right on the edge. On those days, something that normally wouldn't bother us sets us off. If we're online, we can end up looking like jackasses. Maybe we should give each other permission to be jackasses on some days as long as it isn't every day.

I have had a really long day. We went to PT at the hospital, then out to eat, and to a concert. Mom was worn out. I came home to my old rabbit having a very difficult time. He hand-fed him a huge meal -- more than I thought he could ever eat. I'm wondering if he is surging. I am hoping he passes during the night, but I'll work with him if he wants to live longer and is not suffering. He's old. One thing that animals have taught me is that life is precious, even when it is not what humans call high quality. Each hour is a gift to them as long as they are not suffering. I wish I could be like that, just enjoying the life I have now and not worrying about how tomorrow might be.

Anyway, I'm in a forgiving and forgetting mood tonight. Maybe I'll be a jackass at a later time. If so, just know I'm trying to claw my way back from the edge. (Man, do I sound narcissistic or what?)
Jessie~You don't sound narcissistic. I agree, sometimes we have days and I am not a 24/7 caregiver. I admit I was harsh when I told this poster to write a book or have workshops around the country. I was even going to apologize the next day about it, but after the private message she left me, I decided not to. I keep my wall private because I have people who post to me that share info they don't want others to read or know about, it is personal to them and I respect that privacy. Then there was one time I spouted off on a thread because the creator never posted. I apologized and decided that it is my choice to answer a question to possibly help someone and if they never come back and post of the thread that is their choice too.

Glad~You are right that sometimes we don't think. I know I will be more selective of the threads I post on from here on out. The last thing I want or intend to do is anger or hurt someone.

Good night everyone!!
I often feel vulnerable here but I post anyway. But it's been worth it, I've received invaluable information. I probably wouldn't say half as much in person over a cup of coffee! So I'll just click away...
Boni, I've often felt the same way, wishing that you guys were close by so that we could get together and support each other in person. Sometimes care givers feel isolated and really alone. It would be wonderful to see some of you in person, to have you right around the corner. I really hope that someday, when I'm in a much better place, my life will be filled with good people like you guys here.

AA7, I know what you mean. I have felt vulnerable myself here. I almost left this site and thought about not posting at all, but then thought, no, I'm not going to do that to myself. I value you guys highly here. I've gotten a lot of great information and advice, too, and that's priceless to me.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support