Been taking care of Mother for three years.

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I have POA. Been taking care of her for3 1/2 yrs. Mother has dementia. Pays me me $340 a month to stay here at my house. Can't do her meds right, can't do banking, driving, bathing, can't keep balance,cook,tc


Marrlett, it sounds like you do so much. Are you there 24/7? I am in the same position with my mother, except that I live in her house. It has been over 6.5 years now and she is still physically capable, though her mind is impaired. I've wondered how much longer I'll be able to put my life on hold. My years are ticking by.

I wondered if you buy the groceries and pay all of her bills with the $340. What do you do with the rest of her income? $340 isn't much in these days. I know when you have POA you have to be careful in some states. I was thinking that double that amount would be more fair if you are able to do it and she can afford it. But I know that it is a personal matter and you didn't ask.
marrlett1, do you have a question for us? An issue you want to discuss?

There are a lot of people on this site who can relate to your situation!
My FIL lives with us, now 12 years. At first, he paid 500 dollars a month and also insisted on paying the cable and TV bill, as he knew that he would be using these services the most, as we were still both working. At about the 9 year mark, he decided to increase the Room and Board to 1200 dollars a month, and then since we are all now retired, that would include everything, food and all utilities, except his personal nessesities, and the special things he likes from the grocery store. He still pays for his insurances, cell phone and Rxs. He has plenty of money to bank several hundred dollars a month which he partially uses for birthdays and Christmas presents for us and his Grandchildren. All in all, this has worked out with us in this respect, however, the long time invasion of having him decline severely in our hom, is what is wearing us down. It's never been about his money, we want him to hold onto as much savings and his in investments, as long as possible, until he nay require them to live in alternative Senior Housing, whenever that may be, it appears it will come soon an all fronts, however. It's been a long and difficult road, to say the least!

A cafegivers contract is such an important document to create between you and your LO, in whatever capacity you use one. There are several very articles on here that you should read up on! Use the search box above!
I have been taking care of my mom for 1 year. I love her dearly but I do get frustrated at times. When she asks questions over and over are you suppose to answer again and again. Also how does one manage there marriage. Is it fair to my husband to take care of mom. He would never say anything about the situation. I can't find it in me to put her in an assisted living facility or nursing home. She is able to take care of herself like washing dressing and feeding. I do get 500.00 a month which probably is not enough. I just need some words or encouragement.
I have had my mother live me for almost 21 years in the past year she has dementia, being a full time night worker, husband full time middle shift a 22 year old single mother living here with her 1 year old my life has been falling apart, she pays 400 a month and I get so upset lately cause she does not believe anything I say, I can't put here in assistant living she can't afford it help please!
Have you looked into adult day care to give you some away time. I have found someone who will watch my mom for 15.00 an hour and she will do over night if I want her to. You are right about assisted living being so expensive how can anyone afford them.

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