Be careful what you wish for.

Started by

Where to start.... well my mum has 3 types of dementia which makes life complex... its like living with multiple personalities. The main problem has been her memory what day is it what time is it what year is it what day is it what time is it ...you get the picture. So I sorted that with a big clock and a huge writing pad that has today is Friday The date is 13th March the year is 2015. So then she fixated on Sundays and was it time to go to church yet....no it isnt Sunday about 3 or 4 times an hour and this can go on all day. Eventually I got her professionally assessed hence me knowing she has 3 dementias and the doctor gave her some medicine to help her memory. Wonderful I thought...wonderful I hear you say ....dear god no its worse than ever because a side effect is that she doesn't sleep through the night and when I say doesn't sleep she manages to get into my room and wake me up TO TALK!!!
Now during the day it takes her forever to struggle over to the commode - at night she can manage to walk through the house easily. Last night I was so tired I was dead to the world - she says she rang the bell but in all honesty I didnt hear her, that's how tired I was. I woke to something very painful on my face - she had brought the bell (its one like you get on a reception) through in the bag on her walking aid and thrown it at my face. For someone who used to be crap at any ball game she seems to have developed a perfect shot.
I still dont know how I didnt pick it up and throw it back I was so so angry. I took a deep breath (well about 10) and said very calmly - if you think that throwing things at me is a good way to wake me then I have to say it isnt a good idea Mum now let me help you back to bed.....oh no she wants me to take her out into the garden...WTF? About an hour leater I got her back to bed and then not 30 minutes later she is back in again wanting to talk. Dilemma do I stop the tablets and have the memory loss or have the memory and become insane?


Thoughts anyone?

7 Comments

You need to let her doctor know about the side effect of this medicine and see if there is something else she can be given.
Call her doctor RIGHT NOW.
I should have updated this. I spoke to the docs and they said keep her really active during the day. If she is asleep I am to wake her with a cuppa (have to have a reason) and then get her to walk to the toilet/front door/ kitchen door etc. Well life was heel for the first two days - then all of a sudden she switched back to sleeping through the night. Problem sort of solved now al I need to do is stop the fixations.....yes I have watered the plants, yes I will show you where the remote is, yes I have creamed your legs, no I wont cream them again, no I wont water the plants again and YES YOU ARE GOING INTO CARE FOR 2 DAYS TO GIVE ME A BREAK repeated about 3 times every hour!!!! Trust me she is going I am so looking forward to these two days and then last night the focus switched. I shall need a phone if youre going away - how will I contact you - smirks inwardly and thinks to self thats the whole point ...you cant - I am so horrible
Jude, you are NOT horrible. Have you talked to the doctor about the repetitive questions? It sounds like something that might be eased with antidepressant and/or antianxiety meds.

My mom was like this until we got her into a facility and on the right regimen of meds. It was no fun for her, being frightened and anxious all the time.
Is caring for mom becoming too much? Maybe you should take an honest look at her life and YOURS and consider assited living for her.
They have just increased her antidepressants this afternoon Babalou and caring for mum although hard is something I promised my dad I would do and I wont shirk from that unless she becomes medically ill. All I wanted was respite and I have now managed to get 6 weeks a year which is fabulous but because my mum doesnt want to go she is making the run up to her first one (just 2 days) a difficult time. She is childlike in that she thinks if she continually tells all and sundry that I am horrid I will eventually fold and not make her go....not a chance in hell - I KNOW I need this time away from her - it's long overdue. I have to say my moods can fluctuate too and some days are much easier than others. Tomorrow I am taking her to a lavender farm so hopefully the heady scent of lavender will send her off to sleep. I guess it's just that she is my mum and I am finding the transition to seeing her as a child with all the nuances of childlike behaviour still quite a trying process but I WILL achieve the skill.
Can I just thank you for all your support - this site makes a huuuuuuge difference thank you all xxxxxxxxxxx

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support