Bathroom renovation causing family grief.
My 83 yo mom with some memory issues had asked my husband and I to live with her and take care of her finances. The lawyer and mom signed POAs for us to do this. It includes finances health care etc. She recently spent time with my brother (more trouble asking for respite from my sister & brother than its worth) and when we came home we were told that mom is uncomfortable using the master bathroom walk in shower and wants to use the bathtub shower which would require her to maneuver across a bath seat to get in. She already has trouble simply entering the walkin shower which has about a six inch lip on it. We found a shower that we could put in that has about a two in lip and want to install it but after a second "visit" with my brother and sister she has suddenly decided she doesn't want to do it. Trouble is my siblings seem more concerned about her spending the money than what is safe for her. Here is my dilemma, her ability to use the bathtub shower has been raised by my brother and if she were to get hurt my siblings would probably accuse us of neglect etc. She runs around telling anyone who will listen how horrible her life is and complains about the shower. We feel like we are caught between a rock and a hard place because if we do nothing it leaves us open for trouble from my siblings and if we insist on doing renovation she has said in front of contractor she doesn't want it done. I feel stuck because I feel the best thing to do is renovate but don't want her running around telling everyone she didn't want it. My siblings cause so much grief for us.