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How do we define the balance point? The balance point is when both side of a seesaw are at an equal level. The challenges of caregiving throws the balance point of the seesaw off point by dynamics that are often complicated and complex.

Some people respond to the seesaw losing its balance point by going into self-care to the point of being selfish on steroids.

Other people respond to the seesaw losing its balance by going into self-sacrifice so deeply to the point of being of being totally selflessness on steroids.

The challenges of caregiving are such that the balance point of the seesaw constantly requires being worked on. It is a continuing balancing act that is a ongoing process and not a static point of being.

What I'm asking for is what criteria have people used in defining that balance point that they seek for in their caregiving seesaw need for balance.

What of our balance point criteria comes from the experience of others or ourselves?

What of our balance point criteria comes from reason?

What of our balance point criteria comes from personal feelings?

What of our balance point criteria comes from society and culture?

What of our balance point criteria comes from religious, philosophical or personal values?

Which criteria might we tend to miss or dismiss in working on the balance point of our caregiving seesaws?

What can be the result of missing or dismissing a criteria for working on the balance point of our caregiving seesaws?

I look forward to our discussion.

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we have hit our tipping point, and it is our health. Dad is now agressive and not sleeping, we are all suffering with his hitting and falling, can;t take our eyes off him for a minute. Getting no sleep.The MC can do all this. We are going to get some respite and see how it goes.. I suspect it will be long term
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Getting that balance is all trial and error... mainly a lot of error on the part of the Caregiver who wants to help a parent/spouse but is afraid they aren't doing enough.

It is so easy to spoil one's parent/spouse during the first year of whatever type of Caregiving, being hands-on or logistics. But burnt-out starts to appear. How to get some type of balance?

Even with boundaries now set to help with the balance, I myself still feel I need to sit by the phone in case it rings.
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The balance point is your own health. If you are in the 30% range, you die and then you can't take care of anybody. Societal norms have changed. Moms go to work. Grandma goes to long term care. All religions cite the obligation to our elders. None of them tell you to die doing it.
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