Bad language is exhausting me.

Started by

My MIL swears up a storm. Only at me and other caregivers. She's nice as pie to everyone else. It's verbal abuse and I struggle with being called "a %#" all day long. It's the foul mouth that bothers me the most and it hurts when it's directed squarely at me. Other people (except caregivers) comment on how "sweet" she is. Sometimes I tell her "that's enough - you are not allowed to take God's name in vain in my house." She'll answer back with lots of swear words but not in God's name. So she know what she's doing. The sting from her words really never goes away. :( She has been on hospice for 2 years.......but she bellows out curses all day. Such a strong voice and she tries to kick and punch too. We have tried all kinds of meds.... no meds......different med combos. The verbal abuse continues unless she is drugged to the point of constantly sleeping.... :(


May I respond with some blunt, pointed questions? From your profile, it appears as though FIL and your husband have died, but your MIL is still living in your home, verbally abusing you literally constantly. Why are you taking this?

If there are no other relatives, and she's been on hospice for 2 years (presumably in your home), I think it's time she goes to hospice in a hospice facility.

There's no excuse for singling you out for verbal abuse. It seems pretty clear that she's directing her hostility toward you personally. So get out of the situation. She's not your mother, you've done it long enough, so start thinking about finding somewhere else for her to live. You've done more than your fair share.
Yes, it's old news so I won't bring up the subject again. Just hoped to find others who may be having the same problem.
Maria, i don't think that GA was suggesting that you stip complaining. Trying to understand why you are subjecting yourself to this? Is there a reason she can't go to a facility?
Babalou, thanks for explaining what I probably should have written in my post.
Honestly, she is on hospice so I've been expecting things to move along much faster. Now it's been this long...........and my mom has moved in so I'm taking care of my mom now anyway. Also, I work at home - all very doable as my house is located at our garden center property. I am able to see employees and customers throughout the day. I am not suffering. Just trying to figure out what others do when the swearing is so dominant. Thanks all.
Maria; are the paid caregivers upset by the swearing? (You have my nomination for Sainthood, by the way). I think that in some forms of dementia, certain filters get "dissolved" so that at times, people become disinhibited.

I think personally, I would turn and walk out of the room if she started swearing. Hard to know what associations she can make at this point in the game.

Keep the conversation going (or start a new one)

Please enter your Comment

Ask a Question

Reach thousands of elder care experts and family caregivers
Get answers in 10 minutes or less
Receive personalized caregiving advice and support