Vent - at the end of my rope!
At the beginning of this week there was a government inspector at the nursing home to ensure everyone was receiving proper care. When the woman asked my mother if she had any concerns she said yes, she didn't know where the money from her house sale went (18 months ago and she was kept informed every step of the way but she wasn't so looney tunes then) so I got hauled down there to provide paperwork like a common criminal. I met with my mother and the EA, produced all the numbers and she was satisfied. She then went on for 2 hours about staff not running fast enough when she snapped her fingers, how she wanted to sleep in and have breakfast served when she woke up, how I'd sold her house in 2 days once she was out of it, the loss of her furniture - me, me, me, I want, I want, I want, wah, wah, wah.
I thought that was the end of it but today the NH director called me and said the government wasn't satisfied and wanted copies of the paperwork as they thought I was committing financial abuse and spending her money. I was totally floored. The NH, family run for over 100 years, has never experienced anything like the witch and never been under scrutiny by the government and they're freaking out. They want me to run down there asap so they can make copies of the paperwork.
I shredded the house sale papers (shred all flyers etc for compost) as it was gone and done but I can get a statement of adjustments and statement of receipts and expenditures from my lawyer and that I will do. I will call my lawyer tomorrow and make an appointment to see him Monday and get some advice on the situation - he does a lot of estate work. Yep, I guess I have to "lawyer up" because who knows what that witch has up her sleeve to destroy me more than she already has and the fact that her brain is 75% fried due to strokes makes her even more dangerous.
The NH director spoke with her today and, when asked, no she didn't think I was stealing her money but, a life long narcissist, she's loving all the attention.
As you know, I gave up a highrise condo overlooking the lake in Toronto, my furniture and a $60,000 a year job to live in her freezing, gloomy basement to care for her 24/7/365 for four h***ish years with no income at all, purely out of duty as she's been the mother from h*** life long. I came to Canada in 75 with a job, 2 suitcases, $100 and a roof over my head for a week. I worked hard, often 2 jobs, to build a life but she destroyed it. A life long narcissist, she is all that matters and screw anyone else.
When my mother's house sold she gave me half of the proceeds and I invested the rest for her. We'd pooled our resources and made investments joint to avoid tax on her passing. With my half I bought this little place, in deplorable condition, for less than "my half" and spent the balance on starting renovations. It's not done yet and I don't have a shower so I wash down and make do.
I have POA. There was money in ING and TD. TD is now an hour's drive in either direction so I've been gradually changing over to BMO which has a branch in the village. Right now there's $xxx,000 in BMO and another $xxx,000 to come out of TD this year..$65,000 of that is my RRSP but that still leaves Madam $xxx,000 plus her pension.
I am totally distraught. I will get this sorted once and for all and once it's sorted I will continue to preserve her money and pay her bills but I'm done. Running down there with cookies, chocolates, flowers, new clothes? I think not! It is so totally over. If I'm lucky I may have 10 years left and it's mine!
I am so down and distraught but only I can climb out of this big black hole and I will, I always have. Thank Dog for my precious dogs. Without them I likely would have ended it all long ago - yup, when Cody died I had nothing left and actually considered suicide as a way to get away from the witch.
When I was about 6 the witch knocked me about, cracked my head open and put me in a hospital - it never got better after that and I spent a lifetime avoiding her. I've done all I can for her, gone above and beyond out of duty, but it's over. One thing I can't decide once this is dealt with, whether to take her to task or just stay away and ignore.
There's nothing any of you can do but thank you for listening,