Without prior warning we are told via a phone call we need to find Mom new setting.
Mom has been in Assisted Living for 3 and half years in New York State. She was admited with a diagnosis of Alzheimer's at 84 y.o(now 88 y.o.) and we were assured that they could address her needs as her Alzheimier's progressed and when unable she would be placed in their Nursing Home. They have 3 tiers of care and my Mom is on the second tier of care at this time. There has been no prior discusion with any of us kids that there were any concerns and suddenly we are told(via the phone call...no meeting no nothing) that they can no longer meet our Mom's needs. They only told us she is not happy, unsettled and lost.....yes she has Alzheimier's. She was mild Alzhheimers when admited and is now moderate. In the last few months she has been crying more(her memory MD increased her Zoloft as of yesterday....they gave us names of Alzheimier's Unit's our Mom might be qualified for too), been more confused the last few months, some days she knows her children(there are a number of us), some days she doesn't. She now basically doesn't know her Grandchildren and is now forgetting her youngest children.....it is gut renching. My Mom fortunately has stayed sweet, she has become very child-like, she is not a behavioral problem except for the crying and wanting us children( she can't remember that we just visited or that she has had visitors or spoke on the phone )...Her short term memory is now severely affected. All of us kids are in shock because my Mom's care has spent down a good portion of her money. We were told when it was all gone they would adjust the payment and accept her Social Security and the money she gets because our Dad had Veterans Disability coming in due to being shot in WW2....Iwo Jima. He set it up so he took less long ago so there would be money coming in for my Mom should he pass first which he did....thank-you Dad for looking so far ahead. We initially took care of Mom at home but it got where we couldn't. We thought we had everything set. It has been recommended as of yesterday we look at Alzheimier's Memory Units but we've also been told we might not have enough money left for her to qualify. We have been told she does not qualify for Nursing home and we agree. At this time she can still ambulate in her small apartment indepently and use a walker for distance(outside her apartment...to diningroom, etc). The staff gives her meds, and supervises her dressing(she has trouble getting clothes on), she is still indepent with toileting and showering(though showering probably no longer). Since this past summer she has been unable to take part in various outtings that were offered which she enjoyed and now spending more time in her apartment due to her advancing Alzheimier's. In 3 and a half years she has one documented fall, interestingly the fall was last week that sent her to the hospital( fell getting out of the shower and bumped her head).....went as precaution(also routine after fall) because she is on blood thinner for atrial fib and sent back to AL a few hours later and ok. She has been in relatively good health though recently had a UTI and an URI.....she has been quite healthy over the last 3 years. To get to the point have others dealt with this? We are only 3 days into this. We are in the process of finding out our mother's rights, making a plan to calm down and speak with cool heads to her Assisted Living...they said they are giving us more than the usual 30 days to make new arrangements...lovely huh!!!!!!! They still have not approached us other than the phone call, nothing yet about why, offer suggestions or support. We have not told our Mom until we know what is up and have a plan and will only tell her last minute...no point any sooner. She likes the staff, has a sisiter-ih-law there(they are buddies) and she tells us frequently if I have to be some place this is a good place to be and everyone is so good to me. She is sad and cries because she misses our Dad, and her old life and she knows she is loosing her mind....now I'm crying...all us siblings are crying. We thought we did the very best for our Mom. We are hoping and praying she will qualify for an Alzheimier's Memory Unit. We all were very happy with the staff and our Mom's care and numerous staff had told us our Mom is such a sweetheart. We never saw this coming. Any suggestionsor advise?