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Really not looking forward to xmas siblings all home and doing nothing I have ordered the precooked dinner as im doing nothing not even washing a cup. My bro and i usually end up cooking then sis just washes up after. the house will be a mess and left to me trust me if there was a way for me to run away for xmas I would!
The ads on tv are making me feel sick "happy families" also this is probably mums last who knows?
Sorry to be so depressing but I am I used to love xmas coming home seeing my friends etc.. now the friends have disappeared and I have very little tolerance left for family.
I pray that money will appear by magic and that I could just go and stay in a hotel until theyve gone back.

How do others cope with siblings at xmas all the peace and love when mine dont give a toss that im not well and mums future care will have to be discussed.

I know there will one day be a light at the end of this tunnel but right now I cant bear the thoughts of xmas and siblings coming. I do intend to be out as much as possible still until they are exposed to mum 24/7 they cant see what im dealing with or care.

I know this must affect alot of us here how do you pretend to get on when all you want to do is tear thier heads off?? (so to speak!)

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Okay, I'm going to have a little self-compassion party. I know the true meaning of Christmas, of course. I have a very devout family, most who don't believe in the material side of Christmas. So I decorate and cook. No one seems to care or notice or even want to be home at my mother's. And nobody gives me any presents anymore. I mean what is Christmas without lots of presents? Sheesh! Bah humbug, bunch of family Scrooges. See if I buy anyone anything this year. (Goes off to sulk)
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My worst Christmas ever....my husband has Lewy Body Dementia (I guess) and I can not have Christmas Eve at our house because it's too hard taking care of him. I don't feel like decorating, shopping, nothing.....just the depression that goes with caretakers in my situation. I would not wish this illness on anyone. I would rather have cancer, seriously....
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I even hate the word Fall.
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My favorite day of the year is December 26, I don't like Christmas and I absolutely hate Christmas music!!! My sister, who lives about a mile away from me always has Christmas dinner at her house and invites half the town and half the county to her house, but not me. You drive by her house and many cars are lined up and down the street and in driveway, but not me. I just look for the good, at least when I was a child, Christmas was good.
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My family split when my parents divorced we were all adults by that time but everyone took a side. I stuck with my father though not a man of great accomplishments he spent every day of my childhood working to provide for me or planning our next adventure. The money and rest of my siblings Mother got in the divorce. As Dads health has declined and he requires so much care there is no extra money at any time of the year. So no Christmas again this year I just opt out of everything the parties,decorating might as well be July in my house.
Most days this feels fine to me but there are those days when I remember the joy of Christmas cookie making, eating oyster stew on Christmas Eve before you can open presents and I guess my family itself. Then a family member has another unkind post for me on facebook and I think I am ok after all.
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captain, I can see Kaiser Wilhelm with a beard penciled in, but I can't read the words.
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Fried272 sounds dreamy but im afraid you misunderstand its my mums house even though i care for her here i cannot say who comes and goes for xmas gosh if it were MY place id be in heaven as they would all stay at a hotel nearby gosh what utter bliss! Also ive no money to just take off which would be great I have a couple of friends but they all go to family for xmas.
Dont worry ive told them I have chest pains and cant do anything im having tests next week for my heart an angiogram? cant wait!
I will do nothing its the tension of them not doing their bit and me getting annoyed and stressed.
As if xmas is not bad enough my sister from hell is coming over again next week for the weekend so ive made plans not to be here and have written a list of mums meds and the food she has to eat after that I dont care IM DONE my siblings are going to see a different side to me this xmas the chest pains or not just the stress of my mums illness but mainly my siblings taking the piss but next year I am taking my life back i dont want to get seriously ill just because my siblings are a selfish lot you cannot look after someone 24/7 alone with no help or support its not possible someone will suffer either me or mum.
Yep this xmas its up at lunchtime and stay out as long as is needed why does keeping the house clean and cooking for mum have to be world war 3 every year stuff this it aint no way to live.
My xmas wish is I have the money i need to move away from this and grab my life back again!
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kazza, This year DECIDE what you want to do first! (Do you want the siblings there?) (Do you want to clean up the mess the next day----even if it is precooked, it is still left for you to clean up I will bet 10 to one!) Tell the siblings this year Christmas will be different! Here is an IDEA....tell siblings you are not up for company at the house ...tell them that you and mum will meet at a restaurant for a family BRUNCH or LUNCH or Dinner (before CHRISTMAS) you choose when. (PS EVERYONE pays their own way!!!!) That is your celebration! Then for the actual day..SLEEP in! Buy the food you want before hand...warm it up use paper plates, get some movies and hang out in your jammies all day! Ask the SIBLINGS to take MUm for the day! Have a great day yourself or plan to have a friend over and have a wonderful day!
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Kazaa-
Yes, Christmas alone, just me an Steveie babie. The Great Escape sounds heavenly too.
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done changed it back to kaiser bill, ya snooze ya lose.
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due to family tensions I have sent them a thanksgiving card announcing I would be spending the holidays with friends....hence saving big $ and keeping my bld pressure in check. already working on next years excuse.....HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN......
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i aint gonna fly it for long, the moderator will have my head but it does incredibly sum up my holiday feelings. if ya click on my profile you can probably read it. if your easily offended, then by all means, dont..
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i traveled to chicaggy one christmas day to help my kid fix his truck. it was an ice blizzard and the roads were deadly. ive never left home on a holiday before so i had no idea that traffic would be bumper to bumper from chicago clear to my driveway 100 miles south. i found it all a bit farciful , millions of people risking their familys lives to spend time with family. my god send a f**king e - card..
yay e - cards. i tried to find one to send to a friend last christmas and after looking at 5000 cards i just kept going back to the one im fixin to fly as an avatar. its rather vulgar so i hope the print isnt legible ( except to those people curious enough to click and enlarge it somehow ) .
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Debralee sorry to laugh but you describe your mum so well she sounds like my late grandmother I actually think that someone snatched her smile when she was alseep she sat there like a big LUMP too and just gave out she would give us kids our presents then scold us for opening them "can yee not wait until you get home" I still never got it? can you imagine any kid keeping his xmas gifts until later? Boy was she miserable!
When my mum dosnt wear her teeth I tell her she looks like gran you wanna see her move to get her teeth in!!!!!!!! (of course she was my mums MIL)
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PHEW! im not alone here! Gladimhere I spent a xmas alone also due to family tension 2yrs ago i have to say it was the best xmas ive had in 4yrs!! I stayed at a friends did nothing cooked myself a turkey and ham AND ate a huge box of chocs while watching "the great escape" LOL yep just me and Steve Mcqueen!! funny thing it was "my great escape".
Gosh JB spending time with a religious cult been there also at my sisters house never again her so called christian friends were there brought nothing ate all around "shoved Jesus in our faces" then one actually took the biggest room which had ensuite and really should have been for mum but my sister insisted that he had gotten used to the room and had to stay there?????? religious my ass! Oh the joys of xmas!
Yes its hard when people know nothing about your messed up family and say to me "wont it be great when they are all home so you can have a break" Ive learnt to smile and say yes "GREAT" i should get an Oscar by now!!

" ALL I WANT FOR XMAS IS A BREAK" sniff sniff! x
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i dont dread holidays cause i dont celebrate them. its fine when you have young kids but im an adult now and have actually worked nearly every holiday for years. im not a workaholic, just if the weather permits im working.
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The only part I dread is having to include my unhappy miserable mother. She will sit like a bump on a yuletide log with her passive expression until she goes home. The only reason she comes is because she has no other place to go other than my sister's house, but she doesn't like to socialize with my sister's daughter. So again I am stuck with her like every Christmas's of the pasts. Other than that I am looking forward to my children and grand children.
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Holidays have always been a dreaded time for me. It is when I've had to travel long miles to sit around with a group of polite strangers, with everyone wishing they were somewhere else. The difference now is that I don't have to travel to be with the polite strangers. We're having Thanksgiving at my brother's this year. He lives about an hour away. They invited 11 people we don't know, so it is going to be stressful. They are all part of a cult-like religion, so it is going to be like a different planet. My mother is dreading it. I'm thinking that this, too, shall pass. I sure miss the time when I looked forward to the holidays.
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This dysfunctional family is having a hard enough time with Thanksgiving, don't even want to think about Christmas yet! I spent Christmas by myself last year, first time ever, due to family tension. I wasn't invited to spend it with siblings even tough I do all the cafe for mom. Two years ago, another sibling expected me to provide transportation for mom, them come back and pick her up. What the heck planet does she live on?!
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It's just me and my mom. Talk about depressing. I'm not married, no kids. My brother lives in another state and hasn't come home for three years. I don't mind "the day" so much, but what I hate is everyone I know (or see) asking me what plans I have - I hate that part.
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I emailed my siblings and said not doing it here this year. I think my brother is going do it... We will have dinner here first then stop by his house later for about 2 hours... I'll get Mom home early evening so she can settle down before her bedtime.. It will confuse the crap out of her and she'll probably wake up early on the 26th with a panic attack... Oh joys!!!

I've always loved spending time with my kids and husband st Christmas but things sure have changed since Mom's dementia has progressed.
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