These post are so helpful. My mother is in a nursing home jusy a mile or two down the road from me. I have been caring for her needs the last 3 years. I moved her close to my home into independent apartments, and then to assisted living prior to her moving into a nursing home. Each step has been more difficult then I could have ever imagined, mainly because after three strokes she is wheel chair bound and cannot easily express her needs. My siblings live in other states and are not retired. I have a wonderful husband and so fortunate. I have a tendency to isolate myself when I am going through a life challenge rather then to reach out. I have gone through such a variety of feelings through this experience. I go everyday to the nursing home, sometimes twice a day and do whatever I can to help my mother. Nursing Homes cannot provide the emotional support that someone who is at the end of their life needs. No matter how much I do, I always feel badly that I don't have it in me to do more... And yet I know I have given up my own personal life for the care of my dear mother. It has put a tremendous stress on both my husband and myself. At this point in time we are taking a 10 day break and I have hired 2 caregivers to visit my mother while we are away. I have felt for some time that my husband an I are distant from each other because of all this care that has consumed our life. We are not young ourselves 67 and 74! We are so fortunate in so many ways, especially after I read some of the difficult stories here...but even still it is so tiring and draining emotionally to watch someone you love fading. I wonder when the day comes and my mother leaves this world how will it will be for my husband and myself since my mothers care has consumed our life...I have neglected so many other relationships, and my own interest to do this necessary job. I don't know what will be left of me when it is over. Having this break has left some time to ponder these thoughts. The strain has been all consuming. I have anticipatory Grief and so fearful anticipating what my life will be like after my mother passes. Am interested to know what or if others have these same thoughts, or if I am totally selfish thinking such things.