I am Angry..Not sure if that is selfish?
I decided I needed to look for outside support because I am just so angry lately. My boyfriend and I live with his mother. The cause of her health problems is morbid obesity...the actual cause of each of her problems. He took over caring for her at just 21 when his father became fed up and left. For 9 years I have been aware of this situation and supported him in doing so. We now live together with our 2 year old. My "mother-in-law" has decided that she no longer needs to lift a finger. She IS CAPABLE of cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, going out, her own hygiene, etc. The purpose of being with her was because of the problems caused by her weight she can't work and therefore needs the financial help. HOWEVER, she will cook 3 meals a day for herself, but will NOT cook a meal for the family...will actually come to me in the evening to ask what I will be making; the cooking she does do (again only for herself...) leaves ME with full sink of dishes eachtime that she will not touch; she will bring urine soaked clothing to the washer & dryer which is in our family room...and leave it there until I have no choice but to wash it because of the odors; urinates on the bathroom floor and will not clean it up; etc. We pay 100% of the bills and groceries...her $700 a month income ($500 after health insurance) is "her money"...so she can go for her girls nights out, order junk through the mail and buy extensive amounts of junk food. It has gotten to the point that if it is not a free outing, my boyfriend and I and our daughter do not leave the house because we can not. I've reached a point where I feel we are being completely taken advantage of! And he has a brother, who lives alone has 3 times our income and does NOT help with anything. Is it wrong of me to think she should do what she is capable of??? Is it wrong of me to want us to have a weekend a month where we can just concentrate on on us and our daughter and she could stay with her other son or sister??? I don't know what's wrong or right anymore but I'm completely overwhelmed. If he brings anything to her attention...she makes him feel guilty. He has had it drilled into him by the family that this is completely his responsibility as the youngest son. I'm just so lost in this all :(