This forum is a godsend!!!
I'm a newbie but I already know that I've right at home here...
I am a 36 year old single mom of a 16 y/o daughter. My caregiving situation is unique. Both of my parents are still married and reside in their own home approx. 5 miles from my daughter and I. My dad is 68 and still drives. He has COPD, heart disease, type 2 diabetes, and hypertension. He's pretty independent; cares for himself, takes his meds, etc. My mom, on the other hand, is 65 and mobile but doesn't drive anymore. She has heart disease and hypertension. My mom is not proactive in her healthcare at all. She deliberately does not to take her medicine, or chooses to take a pill here and there. Her PCP, the family and everyone else has talked to her about this ad nauseam, but to no avail. My parents have a roommate situation going on. They live, sleep, eat separately. They have separate bed and bathrooms even. My dad wants nothing to do with my mom's medical care and when I talked to him about this he admitted that he no longer loves her and had even looked into filing for divorce. The lawyer advised him that it would be costly and advised that unless he had another relationship that he was trying to pursue, it'd be in his best interest to just keep the current living situation. Basically, the old "it's cheaper to keep her" mentality.
I am the only child of 3 that cares anything about my mom's care. I check on her daily; take her to run errands; grocery store, hair salon, Dr. appts., etc. It wears on me at times that none of my 2 sisters are willing to pitch in to lighten the load, but what keeps me going is that one day I realize that I won't have the opportunity to do these things for my mom, and I know my sisters will have to live with that regret. Just reading the posts I've learned a new term "narcissistic parent", which I plan to further research. My family is severely dysfunctional and was raised in a home full of family secrets, toxicity, and several codependencies (father- alcoholic, drug addict; mother- church fanatic, shopping, food addiction) I thank God for this forum as I am on the road to healing and working through a lot of my childhood issues that have surfaced now that I have to take care of a mother that never mothered or nurtured me.