Mom is driving me crazy!
I made my first post yesterday but I think I did it wrong so I am here to try again. My mother (who is only 56) lives with my husband, kids and I and has for the past 4 yrs. (since my dad past away). She suffered a brain aneurysm 11yrs ago and has not worked of driven since. She was a very independent person before this and we here about it often. I know she lost basically everything ( which we here about when she is upset) I can appreciate that and I feel for her, I do. But it's not like everyone's life did not change and I don't think she fully appreciates how much my husband and I have sacrificed for her. i don't mean to sound resentful and spiteful but sometimes the repetition and the forgetfulness( a result from the anerysm) are to much to bear. On the other hand we feel very blessed to be able to help and are blessed most of the time with her presents in our home. Other times I feel very resentful that I have to do this and I can't just have my children and my husband in our home and we "go visit grandma" like so many others. I know I sounds very ungreatful and I am making it sound worst than it probably is. I feel guilty for even typing this, she is my mom after all and I do love her. She helps out around the house with dishes and laundry and wants these jobs, as she says she is glad to help and I appreciate it, but all that aside it is the feelings I have and the repetition which we can't do much about. The sensitivity like if I say something in the wrong tone of voice she'll get upset and say something like "I was just asking" and if I don't bite my tongue we will have an arguement about the simplest of things. . Mostly I am saddend and frustrated with the resentment I feel, the distance getting between our relationship, how at such a young age in my life I feel like the rolls of been reversed and the guilt I carry for feeling this and avoiding her whenever I can because I just can't bear to hear the same stories over and over again or another mention of my beloved dad. For some of us, we are done grieving (I know losing a husband probably feels a lot different than losing a father) I just want to hold him in my heart now. I loved my dad so very much and it hurts to have here about him everyday. I have tried counselling with her but she is a very stubborn woman. She goes with her friend to grief counselling once a week usually, otherwise she will only go out when I take her, for whatever reason this may be, shopping,ect. She hates that she has to rely on me to get around and who could blame her, she is still relatively young afterall, but she is and always has been resistant to change. I guess I am just very greatful to know that I am truly not alone and it feels really good to put it out there to people who can truly understand our situation.