I need advice for a family wedding and juggling mom.

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I have a new dilemma. Both of my daughters recently became engaged and will both be married within a few months of each other next year. There are no family members that I can count on to help. Obviously, I will be very busy as well as my husband and my daughters will both be each other's maids of honors with lots to do. Mom is in a wheelchair and needs help getting around. She is reluctant to bring her aide with her to the wedding which is what I want, I don't feel that there is a really a choice. Any thoughts? Suggestions?

4 Comments

Right. There is no choice, and tell Mom that it is her contribution towards helping with the wedding.
Just because someone is self-centered, we do not work around them to make them happy! That concept is seen here way too often, and why in the world does anyone think it's OK?! Yes, you get an argument, whining, tantrums-- whatever her MO is-- but too bad, so sad. These weddings are your daughter's special days.
Her aide is her arms and legs. Aide will have a nice outing and a free dinner. Aide can wheel her out of site of she acts up, and get prearranged plan that aide better prevent any disruption to your daughter's weddings.
Best wishes to respective Brides! You are MOB. Play it well, Dear One:) xo
Mom either brings the aide or stays home. Period. End of story. These two occasions belong to her granddaughters and you as MOB. Mom can have your attention the other 363 days of the year.
My grandma opted not to attend my daughter's wedding. She was in a wheelchair, almost blind and deaf and said she would be in the way. She wished my daughter well. I respected my grandma's decision.
Have a wonderful time at your daughters' weddings with all of your attention on them.
My grandma was too old to go to my wedding, so when we left the church, we came to see her at home before going on to the reception. This worked well, and gave the guests time to get a drink and settle in before we made our grand entrance.
Who knows what the situation will be a year from now? Your mom may be worse and not even able to attend with an aide. But for now, assume she will be attending with an aide.

I don't see any value in discussing this a year in advance. Closer to the time you can simply state the way it is going to be and make arrangements with the aide. You do not need your mother's permission to go to your daughter's wedding on your own terms.

Your mother is a very important person. So are your daughters. So are you. Mother's wants do not automatically always come ahead of every one else's wants and needs.

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