Adjustment to assisted living is tougher for the children.
Mom has been in AL for 3 weeks. We all expected that she would have a hard adjustment but no one prepared us for the adjustment we would experience. When I say, we, I really mean two of the four of us. My sister and I have been the primary care givers while my brother and other sister have been far removed since they do not live locally. Mom is 91. She has dementia and severe osteoporosis. Right now she is in a wheel chair because she fractured her knee and she has a massive rotator cuff injury, limiting her ability to use her right arm. Mom begs, I mean she really begs, to go home. She hates Assisted Living. She is very confused and doesn't understand why she is there. We try to explain that she cannot walk and needs 24 hour assistance as well as physical therapy which the AL can provide. There is no getting through to her. She just doesn't get it. The AL is wonderful. They try to keep her busy all day and between my sister and I, we are there at least once a day for a few hours at a time. Still, she calls us 30 times a day. I don't answer half of the calls and neither does my sister, but just the fact that the phone is buzzing like crazy all day and all night is enough to make anyone tense. So, speaking for myself, I have been experiencing palpitation, anxiety, and I feel like someone has their hands around my throat. I feel like I'm on the verge of tears all day long. I don't know how to deal with myself let alone deal with mom. My sister just cries all the time. I sure hope there is an end to this and everyone settles down to a semi-normal life. I've posted several times on this forum. I love hearing from everyone. It also helps me to write down my feelings because I don't seem to be able to express them verbally. My sister and I can commiserate with each other, but my husband, et al just don't understand how we feel.