Unable to forgive myself for hurt and heartache I gave my Mom.
My mom passed away december 30, 2013. She was an awesome mom and I miss her greatly. While she was in the nursing home she had dementia and was confined to her wheelchair. I spent two years beside her and loved being there with her
most of the time. I spent walking her around the nursing home in her wheelchair watching tv, holding her hand, kissing her forehead, and her cheek or reading verses from the bible to her at bedtime. Then there was the other side of me I still don't understand when she wouldn't eat or drink, I got angry with her I know this is wrong. I would say things to hurt her or slap her or even bend her hand back. I know right now everyone should think what a bad son, but honestly when I did these things I knew I did them after I did them if it makes any sense. I just don't know how I could have done these things or why because mom and I were very close to one another. I feel like I should be locked up put in a mental ward or behind bars. I feel I pushed her away and she died because of what I did. How do I say sorry now that shes gone? I truly do miss my mom and feel very empty and full of guilt.