Struggling with the Right Answers
I read everyone's posts and it puts my situation into perspective!! My father in law died almost 2 1/2 yrs ago and my mother in law has not recoved and I am coming to terms with that things are not likely to change. I have an intense job working with families in challenging situations so really provide a lot of support in addition to managing two caseloads at work for the past 4 months.
My MIL lives in the same community in an apt on her own. My issues are that lately more often than not she does not get out more than once a week (if that). She sleeps the majority of the day. She has no outside pursuits or interests in spite of still being able to drive and get around. Given that my work life is so stress filled it is hard to watch her "waste her days".
She is not demanding or difficult but I think I still take on doing too much for her. She is in the early stages of dementia - forgetful and gets confused about facts. We had considered having her live with us at one point, but I know I could not manage emotionally to respond to her day in and day out (especially while working).
I've tried a million things to try to get her into activities but she won't go to things on her own. I am looking for advice on whether or not to have a "heart to heart" about my thoughts or whether to just continue to keep my views to myself and let her be.
I think she would do well in an assisted living situation especially around social connections and activities - also she could have a pet which would make a wonderful companion - she cannot have a pet where she is right now ...
Any advice ... I realize we still have it good ... given that we are not doing day to day caregiving. She has one other adult child, a daughter who lives a long way away (all the way across the country) who she talks to by phone, e-mails and visits a couple of times a year. I tend to have her over for dinner a couple of times a mont, take her shopping and to some of her medical and other appointments.
I look forward to any advice offered.