Resentment towards husband and father-in-law.
My husband and I have been married almost 3 years. We live with his aging father full time because he has had a stroke about 5 years ago and recently was told he's no longer able to drive. We do everything for him. He is still in his right mind most of the time, and can still do things for himself (when his lady friend doesn't come over and baby him and do everything for him). The deal is my father in laws daughter lives less than 1/2 a mile from here, we can't get her to help with him, or even take him for an hour so that we can get away, his lady friend comes once a week and we leave for a while so that is some help. I guess what my problem is, is my life is here taking care of my father in law, I do laundry, order meds, clean up after him, cook for him, take him to drs. appts. and on top of that listen to him ridicule me and order me around. He doesn't tell people i'm his daughter in law, he says i'm his maid or his driver. Yes it hurts my feelings, i am full of resentment that my husband can go take care of the cattle and not have to deal with him all day long, and his own daughter will not help out, I even scrub feces out of the carpet and clean pee sheets. Hubby refuses for us to go to counseling, get home health care or anything else that may help, I have had to cancel so many of my own dr appts. because his father would refuse to go with me. My husband also gives me guilt trips saying I act like its so much work to take care of everything here. My resentment grows....I feel I have no "out" my out is when I go shower I stay there and just cry. We had our little grand daughter here at Christmas for a week, she's my biological grand daughter and hubby's step grand daughter. I would get up to make her breakfast, but hubbys dad would want his first, so I would have to do everything for him FIRST. Never mind a hungry 3 year old. It's getting to the point my husband and I fight every day over his dad, when I get my feelings hurt over how his father talks to me, my husband tells me to get over it and quit crying like a child. I'm sorry everybody, I'm full of love to give, but I resent everything, his is not MY father, I don't feel I should have to put up with everything that I have to put up with and yet everybody else gets the praise and glory that THEY are the ones that do everything, I had counseling set up for myself, again I had to cancel it because nobody wants to sit here and be burdened with THEIR father. I'm ready to throw the towel in and tell them all to fend for themselves.