Can my mom with Alzheimer's give my brother POA if dad already gave it to me?

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Hello everyone! I am new to this forum and very happy I found it. I have a situation with my brother who is "acting up" in more ways than one. My father passed away from cancer at the end of April. His wife, my mother, has Alzheimer's and cannot make rational decisions. Before he passed, he wanted to make sure that I had control over finances and mother's health after he died, so he made me financial and medical power of attorney over both of them. He was of sound mind when he did so, and had my mother sign hers also.

My brother is a chronic freeloader (46 years old), has been in prison for too many DUIs, and just got off of probation last December, just for some background. My father's goal for me was to get mother moved to assisted living as soon as possible, so I focused on that goal. Four days after my father passed, my brother started sending me nasty texts saying that he is "taking control". I went over to the house to get a few things moved to mother's new apartment and he physically assaulted me (shoved me against a wall repeatedly, then pinned me there). It was then he let me know that he got mother to sign another POA (only the financial one) for him. The threatening texts continued to come for weeks after that, but I did finally decide to file assault charges, and I may tack on harassment.

He can't touch any money because I am the beneficiary of that money, and have been a signor on my parents' bank acount for years. My father's wishes were for do exactly as I have, but I need to get some work done at the house so we can sell for a larger profit. However, my brother has essentially taken over the house, changed the locks, and said he will "sell it when he's ready".

Anyway, my question is, since my mother can't make rational decisions, isn't his POA null and void and mine still active since my father was of sound mind?

I believe we might have to pursue legal action, so if anyone has any advice on that, please share.

Thanks!

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I live in Arkansas and in 2014 I had to move 30 miles away from my mom and it took my husband from 2006 to convince me to move only because I didn’t want to leave my mom. My sister and her husband moved in with my mom and all broke loose. They convinced her to put my brother in law’s name on our family deed and my sister is a banker so she put her name on mom’s account and my name was conveniently left off, then after mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer in 2014 my sister had mom to sign papers to pit husband on deed 2016 got mom to sign POA and in 2017 got mom to sign papers giving she and her husband complete guardianship without my presence and only because I had proof of them stealing over 30,000 from her account and even paid lawyer from my mom's account to pay for the guardianship I have tried to work with my sister because this is our mom and my sister is not doing right nor is her husband now grey have spent all of her savings and I had to hire a lawyer to suspend the guardianship... I hate we had to leave my home town because I'm very close to my mom and this with my sister had me in a deep depression
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Warning to Shiner re: Guardianship --- Sadly, I have a similar situation, I began caring for my Mom's needs over 8 yrs ago, when her worsening vision & a car accident left her w/o a vehicle, she was, at that time of sound mind/just poor vision. She still lived at home & other than assist getting to store & appt.'s was quite capabl. This later evolved into me paying all her bills for her ( she kept debit card & I had her bills forwarded to me & I paid her bills w/ checkbook or called in payments via automated phone access or online pay w/ her card "info" ) In 2013 we addressed the writing of her Will, & she assigned me as P.O.A. (both legal & medical) . In 2016 my Mom agreed to move in with me ( both the home she was in & the home I'm in were built by my parents) & shortly after she was diagnosed w/ Alzheimer's....., in the last year a Brother that has lived out of state that she has not spoke to in years-as well as his son ( my cousin) that has not been a part of my Moms life in approx 15 yrs..., managed to gain possession of my Mom while she was visiting with another brother. They somehow got her signature on a POA & $3500 later after lawyers & court investigators visited my home & investigated ME & MY BACKGROUND!!?! I had to clear a Felony check/ get bonded......, it essentially is as if I AM ADOPTING MY OWN MOM -- but I..., NOT THEY am now obliged to answering to the courts/ presenting detailed files/documentation regarding her care plan + all expenditures from her accounts & funds from her account can only be spent on HER needs..., so although she lives with me her monies can ONLY be spent on her needs. In the meantime NO CONSEQUENCES for the Uncle/Cousin who tried to exploit an elderly family member - no consequences for the attorney who assisted them with "their" P.O.A. AND NOW my issue is the same Uncle is making false accusations that I HAVE to prove to courts are not true BUT if I don't do this satisfactorily I just learned it could result in me not only losing Guardianship - but My Mother!!!! Proceed with great caution going the Guardianship route...., it places those truly looking out for a loved ones interest in the position of answering to courts - w/ NO court assistance/guidance with exactly what that entails & could result in courts removing the loved one you thought you were protecting from you & HANDING THEM OVER TO THOSE YOU WERE TRYING TO PROTECT THEM FROM!!! In retrospect.., I feel having had my Mom declared incompetent BEFORE this all happened would have protected her/us BEST because there would have been NO issue of which P.O.A. was valid, had she been declared incompetent in court BEFORE they got her signature on another POA.
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Again, davessister, my heart goes out to you. This has got to be even more painful being so far away. You can't easily talk to the doctors or visit your brother or visit with his wife.

There is no way to sugarcoat it. Dementia is absolutely devastating for the entire family.

If your SIL took her husband to three neurologist your brother has been seen by "real specialists." The fact that they came to different conclusions does not prove they are not competent doctors. "Dementia" is fairly easy to diagnose, but pinpointing the exact disease is far more complicated. As things stand now, the only absolutely accurate way to see what is happening in the brain is to examine it post mortem. When autopsy results are compared to the diagnosis on record, the accuracy rate of diagnoses is dismal -- and this includes specialty clinics around the country.

I belong to a support group for caregivers of persons with Lewy Body Dementia. It has been a number of years and many of the people with dementia have died. Only 2 had autopsies. My husband's diagnosis was confirmed -- he had a more severe case than his symptoms would indicate. The other man's diagnosis with LBD was proven to be incorrect, even though it was made by one of the area's leading experts in the disease. I don't know whether it is a consolation or just adds to your frustration, but the fact that your brother's diagnosis has varied so much is common, and is not an indication of poor care.-

I know how much you would like to be able to DO SOMETHING for your brother. I can't tell you how much I wanted a magic wand for my husband, and now for my mother. Being helpless adds to our grief. It sounds like you have tried to do everything you can think of. If you were geographically closer there would be other things you could try.

As it is, I think you need to make peace with the fact that your SIL is in charge of her husband's care. Direct your frustration and anger at the disease itself. That is the true source of the problems here.

I am truly sorry that you are in so much pain.
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Hello and thanks for your reply. No, the facility she placed him in offers no stimulation or interactions. I live several hundred miles away, and he doesn't know me anymore. I sent her the UCLA trial which focused on nutrition to no avail. Three different neurologists diagnosed 3 separate conditions, starting at Parkinson's, then lewey body dementia; and finally alzheimers. We can trace the onset back to when he fell and injured his head and had ringing in his ears. I don't think the diagnosis is correct. But I guess I am just prohibited from demanding that he see a real specialist for an accurate diagnosis.
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It can be so painful when different family members have different ideas of how to treat a chronic condition. I am sorry for your pain.

Unless your brother made you his medical power of attorney, his wife has more authority over decisions about his health than you do. That is a simple fact.

Early onset dementia is particularly sad (although dementia at any age is awful). There is at this time no cure. At this time there are not even universally-agreed upon methods of treatment. The drugs that are supposed to "slow down" the progression of the disease have not been proven to do so. Some help some people manage symptoms.

There is growing evidence that lifestyle elements can make a big difference in quality of life. Remaining physically active is important. Having social interactions is beneficial. Having some intellectual stimulation is useful. Can you visit your brother often? Can you encourage him to participate in the activities available at his care center? Can you look at scrapbooks or old photographs with him?

You are not in charge of the major medical decisions for him, but there are things you can do to enhance the quality of his everyday life.
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My brother was "diagnosed" with early on-stage Alzheimer's in 2012. He was taken off his medication by his wife and placed in a facility. There is no attending physician, and she will not even consider any trials. He appears to be at stage 6, and is 56 years old. I have contacted the authorities, the church, and other relatives to try to get him some help. I am told that the medication could help slow the progression of the disease. She refuses. I feel helpless. Any ideas?
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Each person has the right to give THEIR OWN PERSONAL DPOA to whomever they wish IF THEY ARE NOT ALREADY MENTALLY INCAPACITATED. THEY CAN ONLY GIVE IT FOR THEMSELVES, IF YOUR DAD GAVE YOU HIS AND YOUR MOTHER IS TRYING TO TAKE YOU OFF OF HIS SHE CANNOT DO THIS, BUT SHE CAN GIVE AWAY HER PERSONAL ONE.

HAVE YOU TOLD HER THAT YOU ALREADY HAVE POA? IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU MUST HAVE A "POWER GRAB" GOING ON.
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So true about family greedy ways. I have a sister whose been incarcerated 3 times and on drugs for more than 30 years. Our parents are both elderly over 80 and in poor health. She has a fake POA and has managed to use it to take money from my parents accounts in the tune of over 50k. I have had to file criminal charges as the document is fake created by her and notarized by some unknown fake person. In the meantime, the only protection I have to keep her at bay is I was able to password protect other accounts. Even a POA cannot access an account with a password!!! Being the beneficiary of the other accounts has been my saving grace, otherwise this fake document would have allowed her to steal everything before the cops could catch her.. Be proactive folk- greedy family's are for real. Believe me money makes folk treat you badly especially when they have the chance to get something they didn't earn by lying and stealing. They will go to no lengths. Too bad h*ll is sometimes their only recourse..
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I know - and I strangely and miraculously feel so much better! I kind of feel like saying, "Nanny nanny boo boo!" LOL
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All I can say is GO GIRL! You are on a roll. Love it!
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