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i need some legal assistance.
my brother and i always had POA.
it was changed without my knowledge when my mom and i had a fight.
she also didnt understand that i no longer had any say,nor was given info about her.she wanted me to be included.But the change was
done in a very fast and secretive way,inorder for my brother and his friend-with very questionable motives,who is her financial adviser also-to get complete control.
he chose an agency that i found very
inadequate.everytime i told him of the problems and lack of experience the agency was showing,how they were not doing the right thngs to help mom, he ridiculed me and basically told me it was none of my business and to stay out of the way.
moms dementia has progressed,my brother has moved her out of state-
he changed the locks on her apt,never told me and refuses to give me a key.
he didnt give me any phone numbers or names of people he spoke to before he signed my mother up.d
i have a web address, but they dont list who runs it, and so i cannot check it out properly.
i know mom my wanted me involved-
we became very close the past few yrs and i have cared for all her health matters for the [ast 12 years until recently.it started raising red flags when I found out i wasnt authorized to get answers and advocate for my mom as i had been doing since she started getting sick.
my bro was in mass.and was not involved with her-he has his own family etc
i am worried for my moms heath-
i am being singled out to make sure
i cannot be included-which is ridiculous since even the agency knew that i had the most experiece and knowledge of moms health history.
the secrecy is strange-i dont trust his judgement,neither did my mom-but
it now it is a mess.i want to be included inher care, not left out like an ignorant twit-
this is so upsetting-it is hard enoughto have someone suffer from this,it is worse when u are being obviously pushed away and have to fight just to be with my mom
I need some legal advise- do i have any chance of being included- or in getting some kind of go ahead to know about
her care-
like i said-between the move to mass.the quick change of POA in secrecy, the change of lock without any discussion or notice and absolute refusal to let me have akey or evenlet me in=\
it is just unacceptable- please-before my mom has lost all memory, and without me or her friends to see her it will happen sooner than later-she was taken to a new place, without any of her things- i was not given any info-just a web address -about where she was going and what kind of a place it is-
I tried to get in touch with them more than 5 times,never got a reply=i dont even know what meds she is on
or who her doctor is up there
there must be some legal recourse to straighten this out?
or am i living in a fantasy world where
anyone can do whatever they want as long as they have$??
help!!please topic =legal and abuse

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Sorry,the above comment was for maure,,just got up,not thinking clearly yet,havent had my quota of coffee yet....
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Get power of attorney or guardianship asap,I have been going through a nightmare of legal forms,etc after mom became incompetent from dementia,,,I went through the same kind of things with my mom & took care of bills,etc for 4 yrs before she went in nh,it has been a yr & am still having problems,,,,prayers for you...
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What I thought was Dementia..is but mom remembers everything she said when she told me not to come back to her apt again.
My husband handles all of the bank processing work and I stayed home due to the fact she thinks I've moved things and sold her clothes. I didn't want to upset her. One company would only speak to her without his prompting, but she couldn't remember her ss, bd, bank number and he had to prompt anyway.

(Before he left I asked what he was going to say if she asked why I didn't come, he didn't know).. sure enough she asked why I didn't come with him and he repeated the words she'd told me and she said "she knows I didn't mean what I said and he said, no she didn't, you were angry and growling when you said what you did. Then she made a comment about me making some kind of "action" when I saw her day before yesterday (after all, it's been a month) Yes, I said Hi Mom and stood back aways, not know if she wanted a hug, slap me or anything else. Making a mountain out of a molehill, she did the same thing, it's not like we didn't stand there and hung ea. other a full five minutes.
She remembers everything that was said, her cancer dr said there was a blockage on one side of her neck with two nodules, but that she has some time left to enjoy life.
He may have some idea of what's been going on. I'm sure the reports were shared.
Suddenly she's called three times in one week, I talk to her if she asks for me but let husb answer the phone.
I know she's my mother and I'll probably miss her when she's gone but right now I have no feelings other than the responsibility of paying her rent and giving her the monthly stipend.
Is it wrong to feel this way? I've never had a loving motherly feeling from her and after being sexually abused by both parents in my younger days10-12 yrs old, I've learned to depend on me, myself and I for emotional support.
Having a husband that cant wrap his head around the idea but supports me in any way possibly needed has been my saving grace. And I made sure my (our) three kids had the most normal childhood possible.
Thanks for listening...it always helps...a lot, knowing I can come here and write how I feel. I truly appreciate the website.
still trying to figure out how to post my kitteh's picture ;)
mary
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Dear Krnhersh,

Here are lots and lots of hugs for you! My prayer is God will intervene with the relationship between you and your brother so that you may once again help care for your mother. Sadly enough, money is something that hinders loved ones from being there or coming to the aid of another loved one. God is bigger than money, He can win this battle between your brother and you. I will pray for you. May God bless all of you richly.
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Go to your police department and present the problem to them and have all your information including facts, documents, persons with personal knowledge ready and available for the authorities to examine. You want to file a police report and the charge might be kidnapping or some other state law. At the least they should tell you where to go. If they don't tell you, go to the state police and if you don't get anywhere with them, go to the FBI because many elder protections eminate from the federal government and your mother was transported across state lines. Be at ease and think logically and proceed with the objective of doing what is right for your mother not what necessarily might be absolutely right for you. You have every right to be concerned about your mother's welfare. Be prepared for a battle. It would be beneficial if you visit a local attorney with specific expertise in Elder Law. Sometimes they provide free initial consultations. Or, if you can afford to hire one for an hour or two, they could direct your efforts. The key to dealing with attorneys is to have all your information available for a clear and unemotional presentation. Don't chit chat, be clear and business like. May God be your guide.
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is there no place,person or agency that will deal with the situation and the person,rather than a law that may be
legal but will compromise a dying persons rights and jeopardize her health.
If he is follow the law- to an extreme- knowing that he can and does make some allowances for others-but because of some
vendetta just visciouly follows anything that could be
considered possile to cut me out -
im just raling- im sorry - i guess the answer is- tought luck-
mom is just going to be suffering and will not have
anyone around who she is familiar with-who kows her-
so thanks for your comment-
although the just has to be some way to right this wrong. i think i am going to change my name from krnhersh to disgusted- or forwhat..again thanks anyway
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If your mom signed over POA to your brother while she was competent or prior to being declared not competent, you have a real challenge. But, your brother may not deny access. However, if your mother had been declared not competent, she cannot make any new appointment or changes. Your option is through an attorney in front of a judge in either case with the prediagnosis of dementia being a very strong argument. It will be a battle but one that you seem to want to wage for what is right. Best wishes in your fight.
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