Only Child Two Aging Parents
I would like to hear from someone in a similar situation. My parents had me in their 40's so I'm an only daughter. My Dad openly said he never wanted me to leave home. They have always been very clingy.
Mom has Alzheimer's for about 10 years now. Ben in Nursing Home 5yrs. Dad lives 11 feets from me in a mobile home. He has given up on life and has mild dementia.
It is extremely hard emotionally for me to visit my Mom, even 1 time per week. She remembers me and sings about me every waking moment.
My Dad has many services coming to help him. I'm not there near as much as I should be but I'm here in case of Emergency. I take care of all financial matters. I need/want to move but can't because have to be near him.
I'm 44,divorced, no kids, on disability recently. Have major depression, fibromyalgia,almost daily migraines,carpel tunnel, etc. I'm in therapy and Dad and I are both on anti-depressants.
They are both such nice, generous people but I still have anger,resentment that they didn't plan at all for their aging years. They are grateful but totally expect everything I do and a whole lot more would be better.
I have friends who have taken care of one parent. They've always had a little help from some part of dysfunctional family so it isn't quite the same. I realize when you have siblings that one usually does all the work and there is fighting but sometimes it would be nice if someone else had a little bit of the decision-making on their shoulders too. I have no extended family. They are older (in 90's) and far away. My grandmother lived to be 108 and other grandparents almost to 100. I don't want my parents to die I would just like some of the GUILT to let up. I never did like being the center of the universe.
I'm sorry this is so much griping. Is there anyone out there who understands?