I am NEW here...50 year old man looking for support caring for mother!
Hello, first time poster, glad I found this site. I am a 50-year old man, never married, and my mother currently lives with me. I moved my parents in with me when I bought my home, since my dad had Alzheimer's and needed care. My dad passed several years back, and my Mom is still at home with me. My brother lives fairly close by and helps with her sometimes.
The thing is, I love my mother dearly, but she is growing more and more dependent on me. I work out at a gym fairly far from home and usually don't get home until after 9:00. She always asks if "I'll be home late?", or "what time will you be home?" and I feel guilty, but I need MY time away from work and home. Dating is a real problem too, as I like to be up front with women about my living situation. While they sometimes symphasize and offer support, they quickly lose interest.
It is difficult, but I promised my dad I would take care of her. But I'm also aware that I'm getting older, and I REALLY need female companionship, and find myself caught in the middle, wanting to provide a safe, clean home for my Mom and wanting to finally meet a young lady and start my OWN family.
There is a lot of frustration and struggle for me, and it gets me down a lot. I just don't want to grow old alone, taking care of my mom until I can't do it any longer. My grandmother is still alive at 94, and my Mom is in reasonably good health. So I see this being a LONG-term thing, and I really need to address MY needs, and not ignore them or I may be a very lonely man for the rest of my life. It's scary, but I feel an 'obligation' to give back, care and love her as she did me and my brothers. I have 3 brothers and they all have their own families and are busy with them. I just want to know when it's gonna be my turn...