I need a perspective from caregivers who thought it best for Mom or Dad to move to an assisted living facility or nursing home.
In two weeks, my parents and sister and I will be meeting with a counselor to discuss long term care. First of all, my parents are not sure what to do but I know their preference is to continue to live at home. My sister who lives hundreds of miles away and visits for the weekend every 2 months continues to insist that my parents need to be in a nursing home. I say "continues" because I moved here over 3 years ago to make sure that didn't happen.
Yes, I'm at the opposite end and believe they are safer at home --- we have around the clock care for them. My mother is deaf and legally blind and the last time she had rehab after a hospital stay, the staff lacked training in communication with these impairments. She couldn't wait to get out of there. Although they say the upside of living in a facility is socialization, that's not the case with my Mom.
Likewise with my Dad, he crawls under the covers and sleeps when he's in a facility and refuses to participate in anything --- just marks time. So, I can't figure out where my sister is coming from since they're thriving here at the house. They are quite fond of their caregivers and the caregivers truly enjoy working with them.
It's been difficult communicating with my sister and from what I can gather, she thinks from some reason they would be safer (?) in a home. Maybe if she understands that I am not totally opposed to nursing home care.
I thought nursing homes were for those who needed around the clock care and were totally unaware of their surroundings. Last but not least, we share POA duties --- she has been primarily financial and I have been primarily medical. However, I am meeting with an accountant tomorrow to find out more about how we can deduct caregiver expenses or anything else that will make it more reasonable and feasible for them to remain at home.