Need Support, not Criticism and Judgment
I need to share that I am feeling worn down because of the lack of support "out there". When I need support, I feel that what I get are comments or suggestions from the Peanut Gallery about what I could/should be doing for my elderly father. This is depressing and not helpful to me. It is so easy for others looking in to see what more could be done for Dad, but I am the one who has to make it happen. People don't mean to be "not helpful" this way....they just don't understand. The fact that my father is in a care facility can add to the pressure on me because people think that this must be so easy for me. I am an only child and am responsible for making sure Dad is happy, and I try to the best of my ability to do that. But after years of helping Mom and Dad ( with two moves, then helping while Mom was dying, and now overseeing Dad's care) I am really feeling it.....I feel depleted. I don't want to burden friends with talking about this stuff. Talking about dementia and caregiver fatigue is not something people want to hear about, and I don't blame them. I've been trying to tough it out alone, but decided today I need to talk in this online group. My father has dementia/psychiatric issues and this is what makes it difficult to keep him satisfied and happy. No one knows what goes on "behind closed doors"....the angst my husband and I have experienced in working to make various things happen for my Dad, all in an effort to keep him happy. I will see this through until the end....I will not fail my Dad because I love him with all my heart. But I have to admit, my energy reserves are very very low. Thank you in advance for your support. I know you get it.