Need Support & Strength TO HOLD ONTO SANITY! :-)
Hi Everyone. I hope you all had a nice Christmas and New Years. Hopefully 2011 will be a better year for us all, including those we care for. I feel myself getting more and more depressed and am feeling very hopeless regarding the ongoing situation of caring for two ill, older people. I'm feeling exhausted physically and mentally. I'm trying to keep a smile on my face in front of my mom and s-dad, but it's becomeing increasingly hard. I've stopped trying to keep up with all of the cleaning, laundry, etc... I still do what I can plus more, but I can't keep up with all that I was doing before anymore. My mom seems distant to me now. I can tell she's disappointed that I'm not doing as much as I was for them. I'm not breaking my back with cleaning up after them as much anymore. I'm not vacuuming b/c I just can't! I can't get a place of my own and have no place at all to go for 'respit' (?sp)... I'm to the point of feeling weak myself and have a lot of pain b/c of my own health issues. Yet my 'issues' don't seem to matter b/c they need help if they want to stay in their home. I'm sorry for rambling here. I just don't know how to get out of the rut I've fallen into. Other than the support I get from my online friends, I have no one else at all to talk to except for the councelor I see for one hour a week.
If I may ask, how do you deal with the depressive atmosphere when you're in the midst of being the caregiver, laundry attendant, 'go for'... grocery shopping engineer, weight lifter, councelor, etc... ???
Any and all replies would be very welcomed!!! I know that you're all going through hard times with this caregiving thing too. It's not rewarding, and (for me anyway), it can suck the life right out of you. I hope to hear from y'all.
Glad to be here,