My wife and I are both 71 and have been married 51 years and have a daughter.
Some time ago I found that she was telling me family stories (both funny and interesting) over and over again day in and day out. At first it would be frustrating and I would tell her that she had told me this story earlier, but in a few minutes, she would start again on the same story. I thought she might be practicing for family reunions and the like so would just listen and make appropriate comments. After several months I decided that something was wrong and probably was altzhimers as I had suspected that her deceased mother had had it.
About that time I decided that I had better retire and start doing some things that I had planned to do when I retired like:
A. Drive to Alaska
B. Take my boat down the river to the Gulf with a couple of friends.
This may sound kind of selfish but that was the driving motivation as these were items that require two to six weeks at a time to accomplish (I did both).
Fast forward a few years and her disease has progressed to the point that I cannot leave her alone for more than a hour and it is best if she is sleeping. She may turn a water faucet on but not off, worse case scenario that in a life-threatening situation she would not be able to exit the house.
I am physically active w/o restrictions (although have had two heart attacks, quadruple-by-pass and a stroke over 13 years ago). I asked my daughter to stay with her while I took a three-day motorcycle trip last year and again this year. This is difficult for her, but she has taken vacation both times in order to accommodate these requests. She works nights so this disrupts her schedule greatly.
Last week I mentioned that I would like to hire someone to stay with her which would enable me to get a few days off a month. Her response was "You married for better or worse and you should not do this"!
I don't wish to be selfish but I feel that I am lucky to be as healthy as I am and need some time for the recreational activities I enjoy.
My wife and I have a great marriage and she and I have always been able to work through problems. Marrying her has been the best decision I ever made. My job always provided a good livelihood and a comfortable retirement and I feel that another 10 years is a possibility if I properly care of myself. I have spent several years watching my wife and love her dearly but feel that a little time to myself would be good. I continue to be determined that will care for her as long as I can.
My daughter is a good and caring person but we are unable to have a reasonable discussion on this matter.
I would appreciate suggestions on how I should deal with this problem.