Long story short, mom had dad arrested for abuse (she went after him with a knife as he was trying to flee) he admitted to abuse so she would not get in trouble...

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My sibs and I need legal advice or support. As many of you may know, I have been dealing with major dysfunction regarding my parents. Long story short, mom had dad arrested for abuse (she went after him with a knife as he was trying to flee) he being a severely emotionally abused person admitted to abuse so she would not get in trouble, he was advised by a lawyer to stay away from her until trial which he did (charges dropped) . While separated he had a lawyer write up a separation agreement which was served to my mother 2 days before Thanksgiving which sent her into a tirade where in front of witnesses she stated that once she got to see him she would make him come back and take care of her because he "owed "her. My father is petrified of my other to such a degree that he does not (has never) been able to stand up to her in any way. He has been beat on, stabbed, almost run over and emotionally abuse for over 30 years. well she wnet to where he was volunteering and told him he had to go home and of course he did. Now, less than 2 weeks later he lies in a hospital bed on morphine for extreme pain terrified she will come and do him in. We are out of state and are trying to get legal help with a restraining order on his behalf to keep my mother away. My brother is planning to fly down and go to court to do this as well as become his health care proxy but what I do not
know is because my father is on morphine will his word that he wants our help be valid? Nursing and social workers are begging us to keep my mother away from him but legally we are having troubles doing this. My mother has Borderline Personality Disorder and is very smart and cunning. She really intimidates people with her steely gaze. We (4 sibs) are so past that and we are going to meet her head on. Please do not say to us why did you do nothing before. If you have any knowledge of Battered Persons Syndrome you will realise how no matter how awful my mother treated my father he thought he deserved it and would defend her to the end. well, the end has come for him and he is now (from a hospital bed) ready to get away from her. It seems the holidays bring out the best in people.....I for one never liked holidays...too many bad memories (I guess I will add this stuff to the list!)
Good thoughts are keeping me sane.


Forgot to say why dad is in the hospital. Mom always rides in the back seat of the car so while he was driving her she attacked him from behind causing the car to crash into a pole leaving my father knocked out with 2 broken bones in his back. He awoke to hear her telling the EMT"s that he tried to kill himself. She keeps telling him this and also that we children are pissed off he did not die. It is so wrong what she is doing and what she has done to this man. I am so numb to this I do not know what I should be feeling but I always react to the injustice done to a person and do my best to help.
You need to have an attorney on your side, then you or your brother needs to be made guardian of your dad....you will then be able to make decisions for him. Why is he hospitilized and on morphine. If he has that kind of abuse history it should not be difficult to get a restraining order against mom. I wish you good luck with this and hope for the best.
Oqt, what a bummer of a life you had as a kid. I hope you and your siblings find a way to de-program yourselves before going into marriages of your own and taking the sick behavior of your mother with you. My friend gre up in a house like yours that had her crazy mother ruling the roost, chasing her dad around with a butcher knife, accusing him falsely of infidelity etc. She couldn't wait to leave home. Her mother also sexually assaulted her numerous times, saying it was for her 'own good' whatever that meant to a crazy person I don't know. Rally around your dad, keep the craziness away from him, and join forces if at all possible to lock 'sybill' up.
We have an attorney and are hoping to get control over this situation today! Dad is in a rehab facility for a few weeks so he is somewhat "safe" there. Thanks to all for the support.
By ALL means possible keep this witch away from the poor man even if it means hiding him in a hotel room out of state, but do NOT allow this woman anywhere near him under any circumstances.
I'm lucky in that both my parents were in love and never violent in any way, but I have known people just like your mother and father who were forced to keep them apart.
if it were me I would protect him at ANY cost even it it meant me going to jail, but in no way would i EVER permit her to get near him. You might consider moving him out of the area to put a definite physical and geographical barrier from her, but there are ways to hide people. I know..I've been in hiding before and remained there for years without the faintest detection.
Wow, if your father were in Indiana, I would place him in my home and take care of him myself! Bless you my friend, I cannot even begin to understand what you have gone through, and what you still must deal with, I only pray that you do work through all of this for you and your farther. I am sure this has to be so hard since you live out of state, but now that you have an attorney, I hope he can put you in touch with a social worker for additional resources to make sure your father is safe. Does the rehab center have security? I hope all of the staff have a picture of your mother and they know she is not able to be in the facility at any time? Man, my heart is racing just thinking of what you must be going through trying to protect your father. Please keep us posted, you and your father will be in my prayers!!

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