My mother is ruining my life by trying to control me


I am so depressed by offering my home for my mother to live in. Ever since she came to live with me, she has done everything to ruin my life by telling me that no one likes me, etc.
I have done everything for her, but she is so controlling...
I am so depressed and destroyed by her hurtful words.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing


My family are trying to control ever aspect of my life. I am 30 now, i have two properties freehold which they rent out and get money for, those properties are in joint owenership with my sister who is married and lives elsewhere. My parents and I are living together in a council house but they have taken control over the properties and continue to subjugate and treat me like i am worth nothing. They forced me to get married in the UK (Islamic marriage only), they wanted me to register my marriage with her so they can totally take over the properties which i didn't realising there was something wrong. As soon as they realised I wont the kicked me out of the house knowing full well I wont have anywhere else to go but my wife's concil flat. I then went to the freehold houses and managed to convince one tenant to start paying me rent instead. After they discovered I was going to take the properties over my father came and took me back to the family house.

Now It seems like my wife continues to give me trouble in a effort to mentally affect me, its as though they are trying to destroy my health and emotionally damage me to such an extent that I become weak mentally and physically so I am no longer a threat. I have tried getting a concil house and then focus on getting my properties back. I am in financial difficulties and they know I cannot afford court proceedings etc and I am in a weak position that if i make any moves they can put me on the streets. Furthermore, my wife, whom now I have a baby boy with has managed to use social services to keep me away from my baby boy and my family know full well I cannot do anything. I had a good job working at a University but they put me and still are putting me under so much stress that I resigned from my work one and a half years ago. My family know by my wife and child being away from me I am emotionally unstable and I will not be able to stand up on my own two feet again for me to become a credible threat. Can someone please advise me on what one can do in this situation.

I reading posts and your comments remind me of my mother. She pits me and my sister against each other from childhood. Never corrected my sister for any wrong against me as we grew up. If she didnt want to do anything she didnt have to but I had to do it. Ive whated her lie and manipulate all my life. She called me trifiling and belittled me growing up. Her and my sister while I did things she was suppose to. I turned to God at a young age because she told me she despised me. The way she said it made me want to look it up in dictionary. My heart sunk to my stomach alot. I was in denial all my life about my mother in sister. Now my siss and I dont speak x years. Ive had enough betrayal. anyways its worse dont see it getting better. Now my nephew in it. They say she dont want meals on wheels but my mom tells me different. Its ashame they dont see the game and that her manipulation has now begun to hinder her care. I love her so much but I dont know how to handle.I reached out and got this type forum. It helps I just wait for more responses. Also I pray and call prayer hotline and it works.

my mother control my salary and then ruin my life for decades just to financing my older sister abroad

I'm an young adult, Who have just moved into my own flat. I have a very busy life
and currently helping out a local charity and church.

So from ten o clock on wards on a Tuesday my feet do not stop. here how is looks.
7:00 -8:00 Breakfast
9:00 dress prepare my bag.
10:00 Support.
10:30-11:15 Church coffee morning.
11:15-12:00 Lunch.
12:30 Cycle up to pdsa.
1:00-4:30pm On the till.
4:45-5:00 get home,
5:00- 6:00 get tea.
6:00-7:00 eat tea.
7:15 cycle to drama
7:30-10:30 Drama
Back home around 11pm
Here's the problem my mum want me to get up a 6:00am so I can walk the dogs
and if I refuse I'm the one in the wrong help me. I'm I doing anything wrong?

Yeah, right. I am still waiting for those "weapons to stop prospering" for 10 months now. Also, sometimes $4000. a month assisted living or $8000. a month nursing home is just not an option for some people. Sometimes there is no family to help. It is easy to be idealistic about what other's should do when things work out in one's own world, but we must remember that it may not work for other people.

I feel so sorry for you, my prayer go out to you. But you are not stuck sometimes you have to step back and let her go to a nursing home or assistance living you have your life do waste it being depressed remember no weapon form against you shall prosper

Pure.. move your Mom in with the adored sisters.. pronto. Tell them she wants to be with them.. and give them a date. That may shake her up! She moved in with YOU, not the other way around!
Heart.. can you do the same? Are any other family around? Do not let her ruin your life

My sister died on her 70th birthday, trying to take care of Mother. Mother will be 96, tomorrow and is healthy and happy in the nursing home.

I tried to tell my sister not to answer every call, not to go over every day and not to listen to all of the put downs.

I visited Mother a year ago and I dressed up, for her birthday. She said "What are you dressed up to represent?" So, I live 1500 miles away and I have not went back. She would try to tell me when I could come and go and where I could stay.

I am 61. I don't want her to put me in an early grave.

Good luck and I hope you can move your mother's out, tomorrow.

My mom moved in 12/19/2014 and that was the biggest mistake of my life..My life mimic's all of you. I have never been so unhappy, depressed, anxious, isolated, miserable. I took the responsibility with love and now i regret it..I am sooo tired mentally and emotionally. She has threatened to tell all these lies on me to destroy my life..She has several times wished me to have a stroke as she did. She expresses a level of envy about my life because I did not go to her for anything as my sisters did. She has always treated me different but I have always been there for her. I have no peace and no respect in my own home and now I have no place to escape!!

Thank you Katie... I believe this is true... I guess we can't change them and it is best to walk away from the situation and go on with our tasks. I work on myself every day to do this and to 'try' and come away feeling 'good' about myself in my caregiving daughter role. I know the stress from this is very bad for all involved, so I have to stay 'clear' as much as possible. You put it in good perspective Katie and I really appreciate you sharing with me. Blessings to you and your mom...

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.