My mother has gone berserk. It happens around holidays. She called me last night and was threatening all sorts of things.

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She told me her neighbor had taken her to her lawyer and the neighbor was now her power of attorney. I don't think that happened as I left her at 2:00 p.m. and she called me around 6:00 p.m.

She was not making any sense. She was exhibiting a real thought disorder what I think is ambulatory schizophrenia.

I'd like some advice on what to do for Christmas. I wanted to take my mother and go to my son's house. I want to see my granddaughters. That family has all seen my mother in her berserk state. But the problem is my daughter-in-law's family is going to be there. They are mild mannered people and I don't think they know much about mental illness. Also there are 4 youngsters involved age 2-11.

I'm thinking of cancelling Christmas with my son and taking my mother another time. I just don't know how long my mother is going to be crazy or if she will go off when she has a large audience for her misbehavior.

What do you think I should do? My mother is 92 and has a personality disorder. She has always tended to be nuts especially at holidays.

22 Comments

You've probably already thought of this, but her medications might need to be looked at. And please don't take the threat of a nieghbor taking over her POA too lightly. that could be a major problem if true.
It might be easiest on you, your mom, and the children involved if you just skip the stressful visit.
Yes, I suppose I should keep her at home.

Unfortunately she won't take any meds.

The neighbor is becoming a nuisance. He is a disbarred lawyer and comes down to see her every day and do handyman stuff. He has a large family so I can't figure out what he's doing with my mother. I think he's crazy too.
You might want to make sure your mom's paperwork is airtight, I don't like the sound of that nieghbor of her's.
Thanks. I don't like the situation either.

I don't know how a POA can be airtight. I think she is able to change it at any time. She just needs a ride to the attorney's office. The neighbor will take her.
You might just want to warn HER attorney and your siblings about your concerns. (whoever you can think of, i know a lot of District Attorney offices have a policy concerning the prevention of fraud against the elderly) Then of course, there's the option to have her declared incompetent but that's a painful one.
I have a major concern about you. What will you do for Christmas? You have other family members to think of and they need to think of you. Can someone (other than the neighbor) take care of your mother for 4 or 5 hours for you to have some type of Christmas, too? You will be in my thoughts and prayers.
RLP
Okay, this is what I've done:

1. I asked my son and daughter-in-law if I can come up with presents on Christmas Eve. I'll go alone.

2. Christmas I'll go to my mother's house and fix some sort of simple meal and take her a simple gift.

3. Monday I have a consult with her doctor about her craziness.

4. I am waiting for her attorney to call back right now.

Everyone I've talked to this morning seemed alarmed. The nurse at the doctor's office said "You've got an issue." I feel like I'm getting some movement on this abusive situation that I've been in for 7 years. Maybe it's time to exercise my POA and get her declared a hazard to herself. We'll see.

Thanks for the input. I knew I could count on this group to give me some unbiased advice.

Good for You! Stay strong.
Thank you for the update. I am glad you have a plan. Take care.
To declare an elder incompetent is a strong suggestion because of her refusal to take any medication and her strange behaviors. You need to become her guardian/conservator to prevent an intrusion by this neighbor and to have your mother in proper placement when the time comes. It will cost you or your mother about $3000 attorney fees and will take from 3-6 months to process unless you declare the need an emergency.
Remarks: I am a certified/bonded guardian/conservator for elderly persons.

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