My mother has dementia and is in a wonderful Catholic assisted living facility getting wonderful care. She wants out! She is very mean

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to me especially as she blames me for putting her in there - I live 350 miles away so I can't see her often which makes it really difficult. How do you convince them they are in the right place - she sees everyone there as "old", but herself as still young enough and well enough to be living on her own. Help!!! She's making me crazy!

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Hi Nancydix~I went thru a similar situation when i had to have my Mom go into assisted living. To begin with, the neurologist was the one who suggested she give it a try, and this was said with her present. She was also at the beginning stage of dementia. I told her (Mom), to try it out, it is like a resident hotel, and everything would be included in the price of room and board. I felt uncomfortable with her in the house alone, she was not eating properly, and other issues where just mounting. I also told my Mom, that if she was not at all comfortable in "the resident hotel" which was assisted living, she always could move back to her home. Fortunately she loved it at her new residence; she had prepared meals-which she enjoyed in the dining room, along with others; she made some new friends, and was given the option to join in activities. The facility, I felt was a safe and secure environment for her, and there was a nursing staff on duty at all times. Your Mom may consider the other residents to be "old", as did my Mom, that was very short lived, and she adjusted rather quickly. What your Mom is Not saying is, it feels like she is being stripped of her independence, however this is a falacy-she is just being provided assistance~~ she will soon see. In time she hopefully will be adjusted, and you, as her daughter will also feel better. The staff at the facility, may also help you out~as they are quite experienced. Good luck!

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