My mother has been in AL for about 4 years however she was moved about 6 months ago at the insistence of the family member who pays her bill.
I tried to keep her put as she felt at home in the original place but she “turned’ on me at last minute and said of course she’d move and why did I have a problem. Ever since, she tells me she hates the new place, never should have moved, wished she was dead, and has lived too long etc. The financial family member adamently opposes any move. This new place is very nice yet not familiar to her and she stays in her room a lot. She has been having temper tantrums demanding I get her out of there and hangs up the phone on me all the time. She likes to drink wine and finds a way to have some and cannot drink just a glass so she gets totally wasted and keeps calling saying she wants to live with me. She will be good etc, then when sober she gets angry and has forgotten all of the mean things and put downs she has said or how she behaved. She is also certain she would never want to live w me and my family and it would not be a good set up. She is basically mean when she drinks she is manipulative and demanding and I am constantly trying to help her feel better, which only allows her to verbally berate me. I am really the only family member who will put up with this now but she is destroying me with her meanness and venom. What can I do? If I try to tell her something she said that was hurtful she says she never said it and gets really mad. Does she really not remember how mean and rude she is to me or am I just her “whipping boy?" It is extremely hurtful and draining for me. She is very close to me yet so mean also —-mostly behind closed doors or she will cut me down to a sibling while I am right there. I don’t want to abandon her, but on the other hand I am fed up...Any thoughts? Does she really forget? Is she unable to control her meaness to me?