My husband's 59 year old ex wife lives alone and is diabetic, has an inoperable heart problem and has only one son who she antagonizes.

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I feel sorry for her and I am scared for her. She has not let anyone into her house for appoximately 6 years. Not her son her friends or other family. I believe she had a drinking problem. We lost a son 16 years ago (my stepson) in a horrific accident in the home she is living in. I believe she is a hoarder. She was never a good housekeeper; actually just terrible, I was in the house years ago. I think everything has spiraled out of control on her. Her son won't even go to the house. She won't answer the door. He's afraid of what he will find and doesn't want to deal with the problem. What can be done to get this woman some help are there any agencies we can get involved. I would go there myself I really like this woman but I live 1400 miles away. Please any suggestions?


Does anyone even know if she hasn't died and her cats aren't eating her? I mean does she buy groceries, pay bills etc? Since you live so far away and seem to be the only person even wondering if she's alive still, her son is gonna have to man up and check on his mother. He's probably got a key still right? Then tell him to put his big boy pants on and open that door with or without her permission and see what the heck is going on. He's going to have to be the one that calls the authorities to report her and get some help. She and I are the same age. I would like to think that if my son hadn't seen or heard from me in years, and thought maybe I was doing a Howard Hughes, he'd check on me.
I'm not sure how or were to start a topic. Quickly, I'm a disabled man in need of a home / 1 bedroom apartment. Remission for 3 years now. 5 reconstruction surgery's on my spine. COPD & Oxygen. I am very low income. Social Security disability. 1209.00 per month. If I rent I can't afford heat and food. I do have my own car and can get around quite well. But then there are the times when im very sick.. Even then I can normally find my way to the store to buy food. I'm a widower and have no one alive in my life any longer. I'm close to being homeless and I don't have any idea how to help myself. Can anyone help me with advice or send me in the correct direction.. I get Medicare & plan D for drugs... Welfare tells me that 1209.00 makes me a rich man compared to most people who receive social security disability. This rich man can not make 1209.00 stretch to pay just and only the very basic things I need to survive...

Thank you for listening to me ramble.
John P.
Have you investigated Section 8 housing? Have you contacted a social worker at your county's offices to see what help they can suggest or offer?

You might also check the state of NY's website to see if there's a NY agency or department that helps the disabled. Have you applied for a Bridge Card (in Michigan that's what's provided in lieu of "food stamps").

There are some posters here who are NY'ers who might stop by and offer some insight on what can help you.
I have just crawled inside of myself. This has all been dumped on me so quickly, I don't know who to turn to. Needless to say trust. I've been ill and it seems like the sickness brings scamer right to you. I just need to find a small apartment, pray to God that I can find a honest loving partner. I think that if I can just see light at the end of the month each month. Most of my troubles will fade away. I know that I have to stay on top of my medical needs. But I believe also being so alone in life is almost a illness all by itself. What more can a stranger do to me at this point than I've allowed life to do on its own.. I'm feeling really down tonight, I'm sorry for this.. I have 8 years of college and can't think my way through this problem.

Warm Regards

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